Reflections on 2010

I woke up praying this morning. Not an unusual thing, pretty normal, but today it was reflective prayer, the closing of one year and the opening of another.

Everyone I know wants next year to be different. Some had an amazing year, others had an awful year and many had a year with ups and downs and everything in between.

I want next year to be different too. I liked this year. It was good. It wasn’t easy, I can’t remember any time when I thought I just sailed through a year without regrets or at least reflection on what was and what I wished would be different.

This past year was a turning point, a major transitional year for me. I transitioned from feeling like a frumpy, mediocre housewife and mom into more of who God created me to be. I chose to make some big changes.

Earlier this year He showed me these verses from Habakkuk 3:17-19

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
   and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
   and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
   and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
   I will be joyful in God my Savior.
 ¹⁹ The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
   he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
   he enables me to tread on the heights. 

What this passage continues to speak to me is that tangible things do not have to be in evidence to rejoice or to be strong and courageous. Knowing He is my Savior, He is my strength and that is what makes the difference in my life choices.

In 2010, I grew spiritually, I pressed in to God for more than I could ask for or imagine (Eph 3:20) and He gave it to me. I chose to respect and admire my husband more and not spend as much time indulging in self-pity over the things I wish he did differently. I chose to see my children in a fresh light, as brothers-in-Christ, works in progress, just like me. I heard the challenge of my God and His strategically placed friends to rise up and become the athlete He designed me to be. And finally, I chose to put the melancholy and negative self –talk out of my heart and mind (this, I have not mastered, but it is very different than what once was) and hear the Words of my Savior for my identity.

My hopes, dreams and desires for 2011 are to keep up what God asked me to change in 2010. I also want to believe Him for more. By His grace, I will let you know how it goes!

Adjustments Progress...

Well, I set the bar low for my expectations on my eating and exercise plan and I will say, I am meeting them! :) I am doing better than I thought in many ways; not as much "stress/busy" eating as I thought I would do, eating my yummy veggie soup for meals when I can, water intake pretty consistent, sleep, well, that remains a work in progress...

I feel good. I feel covered by the Lord and settled in His Season being about Him and not me. I have a peace about the family events happening and I am thankful He has already made provision for every need in my "nest" so I only need to hear from Him on my responsibilities and let Him take care of the rest.

I am so thankful for all of you who consistently cover me in prayer. I am soaking it up and savoring His presence with deep gratitude for who He is and all who He has put in my path, cyber or otherwise!

Merry Merry Merry Christmas! May you find yourself rejoicing every minute knowing your Savior came to give you all you could ever need or imagine! Much Love from cold, snowy, wet Idaho!

Making Adjustments

Ok, I must admit, I am moderately horrified that I have had nothing much to say in the past couple of weeks.

Well, I have had stuff to say, but no time to really sit down, type it out and share it. It is hard to know where to begin now, but I will try.

I have had to make some real significant adjustments to my stronger, faster, healthier me plan.

First some good news and some bad news... I have seen the endocrinologist and found there is not a single health issue going on besides my weight which is an awesome gift from the Lord I do not take lightly. However, the insurance company is rejecting my claim and so I will have to spend several hours typing, arguing, appealing, etc to try to get them to pay.

My adjustments:
1) I am taking some time off journaling my food. The additional tedium of entering every bite is adding more stress to a very busy time of year.
2) I am not setting any major goals for the next month or so. Again, trying to reach goals in the midst of stress, busy and or sick kids, family visiting, etc, is just not reasonable.
3) I am going to continue to focus on what I need to do to take care of myself including making wise food choices, working out, drinking enough water and getting good sleep.
4) I have seen my family practice doc and on his advice began taking anti-depressants. My hormonal fluctuations and the darker days are taking their toll on my mind and emotions. He assures me that this tool is not permanent and he sees many people this time of year that just need a boost to make it through our cold dark North Idaho winters and by spring I should be ready to resume life without them. I am relieved.
5) I am focusing on my family and our celebration of this special holiday with an attitude of freedom and not restriction. I am on this journey for life. No fancy food or diet is going to last forever. Only daily choices to walk in the new path I have chosen.

So, there you have it. I hope to write again this weekend as I have been sitting on a lot of different stuff to share, but haven't had time to process it thoroughly. God bless you and thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog.