Yes, I said it, I threw it down like a promise and a threat.
I have spent months praying about whether or not this is a commitment I should make to myself or not. Should I tell anyone or not? I finally told my Love and my health coach.
A part of my weight loss process was to write a "Success Vision" - what happens when I reach my goals, what does my life look like when that happens. Here is what I wrote:
My success vision:
It was three weeks ago today that I stepped on the scale and saw the number I worked so hard for. The size clothes in my closet remind me it is true. When I look back I remember some of the pain of it all, but I mostly remember the blessing of the journey.
I let go of half of my body weight. It is strange to look in the mirror and barely remember what the other girl looked like. I never want to forget her. She is the one who worked so hard to get me to where I am today.
I have spent the last year working my body very hard. My heart and mind had to quit making excuses, reminding me that I was strong enough to finish this race. Along the way I was sure I’d never make it, but I kept practicing, improving my skills with consistent disciplined thinking and actions.
Six months from now I am scheduled to have the breast reduction surgery I have been waiting for since puberty! I am so excited to get these girls reigned in once and for all!
I enjoy stretching my cooking skills and navigating new cookbooks only to concoct my own amazing recipes. It always makes me smile when my “healthy” food is gone before Aunt Bessie’s fried chicken at the church potluck!
I raced my sons at the track today. They still think they can beat me, but at least for a few more years (before their legs are longer than mine!) I am faster. It cracks me up that the girl who said she would only run if chased is now the elementary school cross-country coach. Whodah thunk?
I am so thankful to finally have completed my teaching degree. The skills I learned while losing this weight really made a difference in my self-confidence in my practical application of the teaching credential and my study techniques. It is amazing how, once you have conquered one big thing in your life, you suddenly believe that anything is possible. Even graduating from college with kids in elementary school! (I have since decided this will wait until after Ironman- too much to do it at the same time)
****Next month I will compete in my first Ironman. I have no doubt that as I swim, bike, and run I will recall all the miles it took to get me here. I look forward to my 45th birthday in a few days and know that this journey, though incredibly uncomfortable, was worth every second of effort.
As you can see I have thought this through... now to walk it out, every day. One meal, one swim, bike, run, workout at a time.