I love this quote/prompt from God in the Yard by L.L. Barkat :
"Let your mind turn to things that make you afraid, jealous, or irritable because they are strange keys to eventual gratitude - be honest, not nice. It will take you farther."
So I shall! This is a little raw, so if you are easily offended, you may want to pass on reading further.
I will start with AFRAID
I remain afraid that my body will never change. That I will never become the healthy fit woman I want to be. How long will I have to face this internal panic alarm that sounds when I don't go to the gym? How long will I allow my exhaustion to rule my eating habits and the numbing out with the TV - to cope with all the stuff I'm too tired to deal with?
JEALOUS
Seriously jealous of anyone who has forty pounds or less to lose. I don't want to hear you complain about your body either. DECIDE to feel good in your skin, no matter your size! That is how I am learning to live and I have over 100 lbs to lose!
IRRITABLE
I find myself irritable with people who don't appreciate what they have. Regarding body image specifically here, I have to work TWICE as hard for TWICE as long to get any changes to show (because of my hormonal/physiological function). Can you PLEASE quit crabbing about the few cellulite dimples on your thighs? REALLY would you LOOK in the mirror? DECIDE your life is too precious to waste fretting over your physical imperfections and EMBRACE ALL of who you are TODAY - not who you will be minus 5, 10, 30, 75 lbs. PLEASE!
GRATITUDE part :
Thank you Lord for all I am learning about myself on this journey. The fear, the jealousy, the irritation expose places in ME that need Your healing, my actions and Your Grace. I want ALL You have for me, the WHOLE blessing of working and walking it out for Your glory, not my own. The changes You are making in me are about the journey NOT the destination.
Girlfriend, I love this post. Transparency is hard sometimes but gives other people the opportunity to grow through what you are learning as well. Thanks for the reminder to feel good in my skin, because it is entirely too easy to be perpetually dissatisfied and unhappy.
ReplyDeleteYou're a gem~ keep pushing on. I'm so proud of you!
Thanks so much Kira! I appreciate your time to read my blog and your comments! Your pretty great yourself. :)
ReplyDelete