As I look at the calendar tonight I see that my triathlon dream is just 4 days away.
I am tired of training. I am really READY to do this!
My biggest concern now is the run. I know it is one foot in front of the other... not challenging usually, except that is where my head gets really messy.
What floats around in your brain while you are doing seemingly endless cardio is crazy.
As Tony and I were running (well, I was running, he was walking - he's a good 12 inches taller than me!) after our 10mi bike ride on Monday, I was telling him how the muscles in the lower half of my body seemed to be pretty angry. It was like they were screaming - ENOUGH ALREADY!! Then, I got into a rhythm and they shut up for the most part.
So much of this kind of sport is just keeping your head in the game, KNOWING you can do it.
Telling your physical self to quit whining while keeping your mental self locked and loaded and focused on the target.
Now as I contemplate the things I need to do before the race I am a little overwhelmed. I want to dump sugar and flour out of my diet for the next few days and I really don't know if it will be worth the stress of doing things different as far as improving for race day. Now that I mention it, I would like to dump 50lbs before race day too... hmmmm... :)
Better get to bed... last big bike ride tomorrow before race day, if I can find someone to watch the kids! :)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Do we REALLY want things to change...?
We woke up just after seven and hit the ground running. Erik jumped in tending to the boys while I fired up the first rounds of laundry for the day and got packed for my next training event with our friend and Ironman finisher Tony Ball. What an awesome guy. And his precious wife, Pat and sweet son Ty lent him to me for the second time this weekend...
I pulled into the parking lot just after nine to see Tony riding his bike up the hill to meet me. I hit the stinky pit toilet -- No, people, it does NOT help the smell to leave the lid up!!!--- and got ready for our ride.
As we cycled out of the parking lot I felt confident and enthusiastic about not feeling super tired or sore from our workout on Saturday. I pedaled easily until we came to our first BIG hill. Seriously, the hill just past Tony's Supper Club on the way out to Higgins Point is STEEP! I know there are steeper ones, but this is the hardest and steepest hill I have ever ridden up. I rode up it Saturday with raw determination and strength, listening to Tony talk me through it and focused on getting to the top.
TODAY, not so much. About 8 feet up the hill I wanted to stop. I was sure I was going to burst into tears and quit. My body started HURTING. Every muscle I used to get up the hill on Saturday seemed ANGRY I was asking it to get me up that hill again! My mind and my belief in all the training I had done thus far evaporated in the air. I told Tony I was struggling, that my body was sore, finally, from our workout on Saturday and I didn't think I could make it.
He told me I could. Then he kept talking, reminding me to keep my heels down, knees in, started mentioning landmarks I was climbing -- the Great Wall of China, the Mayan Ruins, etc. He just kept talking. Gently speaking truth over me, he said, "You survived it before now you are going to conquer it!" I was breathing so hard. Pushing with all I had, in my lowest of low gears just trying to get from street sign, to stick on the road, to road marker, and finally, I did it.
I told him I was fine to continue on instead of stopping to get a drink (I don't balance well enough on my bike to drink and ride, so I have to stop). All he had to do was shift his tone to be a bit more directive and say, "No, Jenn. Stop. You need to drink. Before you get dehydrated." That was all it took. I burst into tears.
I broke through another wall today. Iron Tony by my side, feet in pedals, pushing up a hill, sure at first I would never be able to make it. But I did. Again, it confirms to me how much of our ability lies in our head and our heart - NOT our bodies!
Do we REALLY want things to change or do we want things to stay the same because it is easier? Easier is relative too, isn't it?
Once he confirmed that I was crying because I had a training breakthrough, he said something I will never forget, "Another piece of the Old Jenn fell off back there, the new Jenn, she is right here. Right now!"
I completed our ride without another emotional outburst. I know the Old Jenn is never coming back. She has been left behind, on the rubber of treadmills, in the deep of the pool, the hard seats of stationary bikes, the cool of the lake, and the hills and the prairies of North Idaho.
I am not going to lie and say I am not going to miss her. She wasn't a bad person. She did lots of things right and well. She used what God gave her to the best of her abilities, but she was missing something. She was missing a vibrancy in her life that she once had with the innocence of youth.
But the New Jenn, she has the vibrancy of her youth with the seasoning that comes with a life lived full of challenge, joy, sorrow, peace, pressure, change, trauma, and delight. She does not fear what is to come. She embraces each day knowing God has already given her what she needs to face whatever lies ahead.
Big hills, crabby attitudes, navigating parenthood and the love affair with my husband have all changed with this new season of my life. I love who I am becoming.
I am still required to WORK HARD in this process of change. But, like I've said before, one moment, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. Pretty soon the 17 years I have spent overweight will be a blip on the map of my life.
What do you want to change? REALLY?
I pulled into the parking lot just after nine to see Tony riding his bike up the hill to meet me. I hit the stinky pit toilet -- No, people, it does NOT help the smell to leave the lid up!!!--- and got ready for our ride.
As we cycled out of the parking lot I felt confident and enthusiastic about not feeling super tired or sore from our workout on Saturday. I pedaled easily until we came to our first BIG hill. Seriously, the hill just past Tony's Supper Club on the way out to Higgins Point is STEEP! I know there are steeper ones, but this is the hardest and steepest hill I have ever ridden up. I rode up it Saturday with raw determination and strength, listening to Tony talk me through it and focused on getting to the top.
TODAY, not so much. About 8 feet up the hill I wanted to stop. I was sure I was going to burst into tears and quit. My body started HURTING. Every muscle I used to get up the hill on Saturday seemed ANGRY I was asking it to get me up that hill again! My mind and my belief in all the training I had done thus far evaporated in the air. I told Tony I was struggling, that my body was sore, finally, from our workout on Saturday and I didn't think I could make it.
He told me I could. Then he kept talking, reminding me to keep my heels down, knees in, started mentioning landmarks I was climbing -- the Great Wall of China, the Mayan Ruins, etc. He just kept talking. Gently speaking truth over me, he said, "You survived it before now you are going to conquer it!" I was breathing so hard. Pushing with all I had, in my lowest of low gears just trying to get from street sign, to stick on the road, to road marker, and finally, I did it.
I told him I was fine to continue on instead of stopping to get a drink (I don't balance well enough on my bike to drink and ride, so I have to stop). All he had to do was shift his tone to be a bit more directive and say, "No, Jenn. Stop. You need to drink. Before you get dehydrated." That was all it took. I burst into tears.
I broke through another wall today. Iron Tony by my side, feet in pedals, pushing up a hill, sure at first I would never be able to make it. But I did. Again, it confirms to me how much of our ability lies in our head and our heart - NOT our bodies!
Do we REALLY want things to change or do we want things to stay the same because it is easier? Easier is relative too, isn't it?
Once he confirmed that I was crying because I had a training breakthrough, he said something I will never forget, "Another piece of the Old Jenn fell off back there, the new Jenn, she is right here. Right now!"
I completed our ride without another emotional outburst. I know the Old Jenn is never coming back. She has been left behind, on the rubber of treadmills, in the deep of the pool, the hard seats of stationary bikes, the cool of the lake, and the hills and the prairies of North Idaho.
I am not going to lie and say I am not going to miss her. She wasn't a bad person. She did lots of things right and well. She used what God gave her to the best of her abilities, but she was missing something. She was missing a vibrancy in her life that she once had with the innocence of youth.
But the New Jenn, she has the vibrancy of her youth with the seasoning that comes with a life lived full of challenge, joy, sorrow, peace, pressure, change, trauma, and delight. She does not fear what is to come. She embraces each day knowing God has already given her what she needs to face whatever lies ahead.
Big hills, crabby attitudes, navigating parenthood and the love affair with my husband have all changed with this new season of my life. I love who I am becoming.
I am still required to WORK HARD in this process of change. But, like I've said before, one moment, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. Pretty soon the 17 years I have spent overweight will be a blip on the map of my life.
What do you want to change? REALLY?
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Weight and Fitness goals for the next year... 1st Draft
Within the next year I will be the athlete I have always wanted to be and felt I was created to be. I will weigh a healthy and strong weight for my body and be able to maintain a fit and quality balanced life in every area.
Spiritually I will be deeper in my relationship with Christ and more submitted to His work within and through me, less concerned about what others think and more focused on obeying His voice and heart for me.
Emotionally, I will not be run by the fluctuations of life and it’s challenges. I will be free to experience joy, anger, laughter, grief, and all the emotions in between without feeling like they are “running me”. The core of my peace in the Lord will hold me steady as I walk through challenges in relationships, physical issues, and the “curveballs” of life.
Mentally, I will be learning like never before. I will be pushing past the TV habit and embrace filling my head with edifying and interesting information designed to “build” my mental muscles. I will read a book a month (balanced between spiritual growth, parenting, leadership development, and entertainment).
Physically, I will be competing in Olympic distance triathlons (My incredible husband has said he would do a triathlon with me next year too!) and strengthening my body with actual weights and not afraid of being in the weight room with the sweaty muscle men that lurk there. I will learn how to use the ‘foam roll’ stretching technique and fear no spinning class. I will never take for granted my ability to do anything athletic and be grateful I have a body that I can move!
When my husband and I renew our vows on October 12, 2011 for our 20th wedding anniversary I will wear my wedding dress. I will feel confident and beautiful. I will look at the past with gratitude and look at the future with enthusiasm.
I have no idea what I will weigh or what size I will wear. I don’t actually care that much. I just look forward to living in a body and mind that are healthy and fit, raising my children to do the same, and working together as a family to serve the church and community as the Lord leads.
Spiritually I will be deeper in my relationship with Christ and more submitted to His work within and through me, less concerned about what others think and more focused on obeying His voice and heart for me.
Emotionally, I will not be run by the fluctuations of life and it’s challenges. I will be free to experience joy, anger, laughter, grief, and all the emotions in between without feeling like they are “running me”. The core of my peace in the Lord will hold me steady as I walk through challenges in relationships, physical issues, and the “curveballs” of life.
Mentally, I will be learning like never before. I will be pushing past the TV habit and embrace filling my head with edifying and interesting information designed to “build” my mental muscles. I will read a book a month (balanced between spiritual growth, parenting, leadership development, and entertainment).
Physically, I will be competing in Olympic distance triathlons (My incredible husband has said he would do a triathlon with me next year too!) and strengthening my body with actual weights and not afraid of being in the weight room with the sweaty muscle men that lurk there. I will learn how to use the ‘foam roll’ stretching technique and fear no spinning class. I will never take for granted my ability to do anything athletic and be grateful I have a body that I can move!
When my husband and I renew our vows on October 12, 2011 for our 20th wedding anniversary I will wear my wedding dress. I will feel confident and beautiful. I will look at the past with gratitude and look at the future with enthusiasm.
I have no idea what I will weigh or what size I will wear. I don’t actually care that much. I just look forward to living in a body and mind that are healthy and fit, raising my children to do the same, and working together as a family to serve the church and community as the Lord leads.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
What a Day!!
Wow!
I had an amazing day. Not so amazing I had to pinch myself, I knew for sure it was my life... just a REALLY great day!
My precious husband got up with the boys so I got an extra half hour of sleep this morning and took over breakfast and boy care so I could get my stuff ready for my training this morning.
I met my friend Tony Ball at 9am at Sanders Beach. We talked about my training program, what I have done so far and what I still need to train for. The whitecaps on the lake were pretty impressive. The wind was blowing and I was a little curious about what it would feel like to try to swim a decent freestyle crawl in the waves.
About thirty minutes later I found out. We started into the water adjusting to it's temperature and headed out to the first buoy. It was cold enough to take my breath away. But after a bit, I adjusted and was able to swim another 300m or so. Tony stayed with me and even grabbed at my feet and pushed me around a bit so I would start to get used to the "nudging" that happens during race day.
After our swim we transitioned into a bike ride. It took more time than what it would be for a race, but since I had never made a transition from swim to bike we did that and it was a trick getting all the sand off my feet, socks and shoes on, and dry as much as possible before putting my wet caboose on my bike seat. We rode probably about 11 or 12 miles. But, different than my regular training we went up hills like I have never gone up before. And then I went down them :) as fast as I could manage!
It felt wonderful! I had been home for a few hours before my body started feeling the aches and pains of that hard of a workout. By then I had showered, resumed my "mom" duties, and switched the loads of laundry, took the kids to run errands, etc.
The best part, I had a wonderful date with my best friend. We had dinner, cracked old jokes, made each other laugh, talked, walked and drove around just hanging out together. It was just relaxing and so fun enjoying who we are together as a couple. As I write this we are watching a great movie "Hidalgo" and as comfy as can be!
So, I shall wrap this up to say, again, what an amazing day! I am so thankful for God's great provision - for my time with my husband, the time with my kids, the time with Tony and even the challenging time of my training with bumpy water and hills to ride. What a day!!
I had an amazing day. Not so amazing I had to pinch myself, I knew for sure it was my life... just a REALLY great day!
My precious husband got up with the boys so I got an extra half hour of sleep this morning and took over breakfast and boy care so I could get my stuff ready for my training this morning.
I met my friend Tony Ball at 9am at Sanders Beach. We talked about my training program, what I have done so far and what I still need to train for. The whitecaps on the lake were pretty impressive. The wind was blowing and I was a little curious about what it would feel like to try to swim a decent freestyle crawl in the waves.
About thirty minutes later I found out. We started into the water adjusting to it's temperature and headed out to the first buoy. It was cold enough to take my breath away. But after a bit, I adjusted and was able to swim another 300m or so. Tony stayed with me and even grabbed at my feet and pushed me around a bit so I would start to get used to the "nudging" that happens during race day.
After our swim we transitioned into a bike ride. It took more time than what it would be for a race, but since I had never made a transition from swim to bike we did that and it was a trick getting all the sand off my feet, socks and shoes on, and dry as much as possible before putting my wet caboose on my bike seat. We rode probably about 11 or 12 miles. But, different than my regular training we went up hills like I have never gone up before. And then I went down them :) as fast as I could manage!
It felt wonderful! I had been home for a few hours before my body started feeling the aches and pains of that hard of a workout. By then I had showered, resumed my "mom" duties, and switched the loads of laundry, took the kids to run errands, etc.
The best part, I had a wonderful date with my best friend. We had dinner, cracked old jokes, made each other laugh, talked, walked and drove around just hanging out together. It was just relaxing and so fun enjoying who we are together as a couple. As I write this we are watching a great movie "Hidalgo" and as comfy as can be!
So, I shall wrap this up to say, again, what an amazing day! I am so thankful for God's great provision - for my time with my husband, the time with my kids, the time with Tony and even the challenging time of my training with bumpy water and hills to ride. What a day!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Venting!
YIKES!!!
Sorry in advance for those of you were hoping for deep spiritual insight today. I am pretty sure it's not going to happen.
1) My ears are burning! Literally!
I have been battling swimmers ear since I started my lessons in early July. The irritation factor has finally become significant enough to merit finding some "Swim-Ear" stuff at Wal-Mart (stay tuned for another comment regarding THAT place). I put it in. NOW my aching ears that have been itchy and annoying are filled with alcohol and burning. Yes, it is such a "better" feeling. I am so glad I spent $4 on something that not only feels worse but I could have bought a GIANT bottle for half that price and used a dropper of some sort ... which leads me to my next gripe...
2) I work REALLY hard to get the biggest bang for my grocery dollar. Every week I get the grocery cash out of the bank and spend it as carefully as I can. I coupon clip, I make my list from the sale ads, and I even go to multiple stores so I can get the best prices for the items I need. This week I decided to do something I haven't done for over 6 months - I walked in the doors of WalMart. I did this for two reasons. One, because they do "ad matching" so I didn't have to do multiple stores -which I did last week with my kids and it was NOT pretty. And two, I wanted to shop where there wouldn't be 37million other people getting their last groceries before they go on vacation. I heard that the WalMart out by Cabela's was nice, new, and VERY quiet. There aren't a lot of people shopping there right now because they just opened and lets face it, they are WAY out of the major traffic area. Today I bought most of what I needed and had to quit before I purchased all I had in my cart. Even at WalMart, I am running out of money before I get what I need. It seems so wacky! But, adjustments are required as little boys become bigger and need lunches for school, and they eat, and eat, and eat and eat. It seems like they are all in a growth spurt right now and I just can't seem to keep up with them!
3) But I FORGOT about how WalMart affects my children. Now, they are still boys in a grocery store, busy, creative, and yes a little rambunctious too. But something about WalMart... or maybe it is me. I don't want to be THAT mom with kids swinging from the aisles, running into people or, like today pulling off some slick new imaginary ninja move right in front of an old man with a cane just trying to walk!! Yes, that was me, speaking too loudly, in public, to my ninja-master son throwing himself on the floor in front of unsuspecting senior citizens. Don't you wish you were me?
4) I finally get the ninja-masters (which they have never seen anything like that except on ONE episode of Backyardagains) loaded into the car, groceries tucked into the back and we head for home. I hear a thud and figure the watermelon hit the back of the car when I turned the corner. No biggie. So, we get home and I get Peter laid down for his nap, the big boys on their beds for what will be close to an eternal time out and go back to the car to unload the groceries. Well, did I mention the GIANT jug of fabric softener I bought? It turns out that if you turn your car and the jug falls over and if said jug has had the lid twisted by one of three potential mess makers, you get fabric softener all over the back of your car. I am all for fresh laundry, but fresh trunk, fresh Sunday school papers I forgot about, and fresh beach blanket made in Mexico... is just really annoying.
5) I get stuff cleaned out of the car, put the groceries away and remember that I bought REAL lettuce instead of bagged lettuce so I have to get busy cleaning and tearing before too long so when the guests arrive for our progressive dinner tonight they don't get farm grit in their teeth. Not a big deal (cleaning and tearing lettuce, that is) except that the list of "to do's" before company comes is a little longer than usual and I don't want to start too early so the kids don't wreck it before they come.
It is a fine line between ungrateful nastiness and a grumpy mommy moment. I hope I stayed on the right side of that line! And I hope you will forgive me if I offended you in any way...
Sorry in advance for those of you were hoping for deep spiritual insight today. I am pretty sure it's not going to happen.
1) My ears are burning! Literally!
I have been battling swimmers ear since I started my lessons in early July. The irritation factor has finally become significant enough to merit finding some "Swim-Ear" stuff at Wal-Mart (stay tuned for another comment regarding THAT place). I put it in. NOW my aching ears that have been itchy and annoying are filled with alcohol and burning. Yes, it is such a "better" feeling. I am so glad I spent $4 on something that not only feels worse but I could have bought a GIANT bottle for half that price and used a dropper of some sort ... which leads me to my next gripe...
2) I work REALLY hard to get the biggest bang for my grocery dollar. Every week I get the grocery cash out of the bank and spend it as carefully as I can. I coupon clip, I make my list from the sale ads, and I even go to multiple stores so I can get the best prices for the items I need. This week I decided to do something I haven't done for over 6 months - I walked in the doors of WalMart. I did this for two reasons. One, because they do "ad matching" so I didn't have to do multiple stores -which I did last week with my kids and it was NOT pretty. And two, I wanted to shop where there wouldn't be 37million other people getting their last groceries before they go on vacation. I heard that the WalMart out by Cabela's was nice, new, and VERY quiet. There aren't a lot of people shopping there right now because they just opened and lets face it, they are WAY out of the major traffic area. Today I bought most of what I needed and had to quit before I purchased all I had in my cart. Even at WalMart, I am running out of money before I get what I need. It seems so wacky! But, adjustments are required as little boys become bigger and need lunches for school, and they eat, and eat, and eat and eat. It seems like they are all in a growth spurt right now and I just can't seem to keep up with them!
3) But I FORGOT about how WalMart affects my children. Now, they are still boys in a grocery store, busy, creative, and yes a little rambunctious too. But something about WalMart... or maybe it is me. I don't want to be THAT mom with kids swinging from the aisles, running into people or, like today pulling off some slick new imaginary ninja move right in front of an old man with a cane just trying to walk!! Yes, that was me, speaking too loudly, in public, to my ninja-master son throwing himself on the floor in front of unsuspecting senior citizens. Don't you wish you were me?
4) I finally get the ninja-masters (which they have never seen anything like that except on ONE episode of Backyardagains) loaded into the car, groceries tucked into the back and we head for home. I hear a thud and figure the watermelon hit the back of the car when I turned the corner. No biggie. So, we get home and I get Peter laid down for his nap, the big boys on their beds for what will be close to an eternal time out and go back to the car to unload the groceries. Well, did I mention the GIANT jug of fabric softener I bought? It turns out that if you turn your car and the jug falls over and if said jug has had the lid twisted by one of three potential mess makers, you get fabric softener all over the back of your car. I am all for fresh laundry, but fresh trunk, fresh Sunday school papers I forgot about, and fresh beach blanket made in Mexico... is just really annoying.
5) I get stuff cleaned out of the car, put the groceries away and remember that I bought REAL lettuce instead of bagged lettuce so I have to get busy cleaning and tearing before too long so when the guests arrive for our progressive dinner tonight they don't get farm grit in their teeth. Not a big deal (cleaning and tearing lettuce, that is) except that the list of "to do's" before company comes is a little longer than usual and I don't want to start too early so the kids don't wreck it before they come.
It is a fine line between ungrateful nastiness and a grumpy mommy moment. I hope I stayed on the right side of that line! And I hope you will forgive me if I offended you in any way...
Thursday, September 2, 2010
How to swim in the lake... by someone who did it!!!!!!!!!
Today was a big day for me. But I guess you know that.
This whole time, since I started training I have been stressed about it. I kept wondering what it would feel like.
How cold would it be? If I had a dollar for every person that asked me if I had a wetsuit I could have bought one!
Would I see anything scary at the bottom?
Would I get bit by a fish?
Would I have to touch a fish?
Would the weeds in the water touch me?
Yeah, what a silly girl.
I grew up swimming in the Pacific Ocean. My mom had us on the beach all year round. I have been in the water, at least ankle deep, most often neck deep all over the southern California coast. I LOVE the ocean. I have been caught in more rip tides than I can remember, body surfed, and boogie boarded til my stomach and arms were raw. And I have rarely turned down a chance to get in a pool. I LOVE the water. Almost everywhere.
Except lakes.
Lakes have freaked me out since I was a kid. My sister was floating tummy down in an inner tube when we were about 10 and 11 (I was older by 18mos.). She was in a bikini and she got bit by a fish. I still remember seeing her fly out of the tube screaming, belly button bleeding and hysterically pointing to the water. That sealed the deal for me. No swimming in the lake. Any lake. Ever.
As time went by I did get on boats and attempt water skiing (never did manage to get "up") and then tubing. I did swim a little at Honeysuckle Beach years ago with a friend and I have another friend with a dock off Honeysuckle bay and I did jump in maybe twice. When I take the boys to the beach sometimes I will go in up past my waist, but only because they want me to hold them so they can go deeper. But EVERY time I am in a lake I am FREAKED out. I see flashes of my screaming sister, I look for fish and when I see them I want to run and wish I hadn't looked. When John was baptized just a few weeks ago it took ALL I had to get in the water up to my knees. AND there were LITTLE TINY fish EVERYWHERE!!! I still get squeamish thinking about it...
So, THAT is why today was SUCH a BIG DEAL!!!
Not only did I walk into the water feeling its icy grasp go up my body, but then I followed my coach and my friend as they shallowly dove right in! I came out of the water short of breath gasping at the chill. My friend Stephanie warned me that breathing while swimming would be harder at first because of the cold and she was right.
As I started my freestyle strokes I could only do two strokes before I came up for air. And I was gasping. I kept swimming, out to the corner of the Point where Coach said to go. The murky gunk at the bottom had only a bit of my focus while I was trying to remember "bubble-bubble-breathe" which has become my swimming and now my "I'm wearing out I don't want to do this" mantra. They stayed beside me the whole time. Slow going for them even as I worked at picking up my pace. He has been swimming for over 50 years and she for 20.
Once I got to the Point, Coach asked if I was okay. I said I was, but I was still a little scared. He suggested we swim under the dock bridge over to the other beach area. He told me to keep going until I got there. No stopping. I looked at him and through my nervous thoughts I took a moment to remember that he was the same guy who had coached me through learning how to do this in the first place, and he would not leave my side. Neither did Stephanie. I said a quick prayer and felt the Lord give me the courage to trust Him, to trust them and to trust the knowledge I had gained in about a dozen swimming classes.
And I did it. I swam steadily until the darkness under the bridge caught my attention.
DARK!
I was so focused on breathing and my stroke that I didn't see the bridge until I was under it. I popped my head up with a gasp, looked around and kept going seeing Coach and Stephanie waiting for me. I swam to them and realized:
I CAN DO THIS!!
I don't remember for sure but I think that was the first time I got all goofy and giddy about swimming in the lake. Coach then asked if I could see the post - to which I said no. I can't see that far ahead... so he pointed to a huge tree that I could see and said to go in that direction. Practicing my "sighting" so I am swimming toward the "buoy" in my race and not somewhere off course.
We started out and Coach swam across my legs (he has been having people in my class or even the Jr. lifeguards at one point get in my way, splash me and such to simulate what it will be like to have other swimmers right next to me for my swim). I adjusted my position. Then the waves from the wake of a boat started bobbing me around in the water and I adjusted my position. I remembered that Stephanie told me to breathe on the side opposite someone next to me or a wave coming. That helped. When we got to the post I looked up and got all goofy about having done it again! Coach had me swim around the post as if it was a buoy and gave me a few tips about how congested it will be during the swim. Arms, legs, bodies, faces all around me and I have to be able to get my bearings and keep going.
Then he had me practice "sighting" again. He crossed in front of me, splashed me with his feet and Stephanie did too. I swam back to the Point and he greeted me with loud praise about how straight I swam.
We climbed up the slippery steps and then back down again to do a shallow dive off the steps. Then we swam back to the beach and talked about the best way for me to practice the next few days before my race. As we got out the exhilaration continued. I wasn't that cold. The water didn't seem that cold. Everything was amazing. The sky was bluer, the water more beautiful, my success bigger... I know I was acting like a total dork but I couldn't help myself. I felt like I had just climbed Mt.Everest or something.
They were obviously happy for me too. It was a great moment in my life and these two wonderful people were right there in it with me.
When I talk about God's provision, or I hear other people talk about it, there is a quiet confidence and some positive outlook. But when you go from freaked out fear, to conquering it, to eagerly anticipating doing it again... now that is a whole new light on God's provision.
He provided for me this great Coach who has been an encouragement and a blessing every moment of my time with him. He provided a great friend, confident swimmer and wonderful encourager to swim with me in almost every class. God KNEW exactly what I would need and WHO I would need to face this challenge. And He did not hold back.
I felt SO loved, SO blessed and SO encouraged today. I knew so many of you were praying for me and cheering me on. It is pretty freaky being watched by so many people this way, but I opened myself up for it because God asked me to. I obeyed.
This whole thing continues to be about me obeying Him. One challenge, one day, one bike ride, one swim, one run at a time. So many of you have contacted me to share what you are doing in your life to become more healthy and to follow what God has asked you to do. It is humbling. I am grateful. And most of all I am overwhelmed by the work God is doing in so many of us who are just obeying, one challenge, one day, one bike ride, one swim, one run, one walk, one _?_ at a time.
And, because the excitement remains... YYYYAAAAYYYYY!!! I DID IT!!! :)
This whole time, since I started training I have been stressed about it. I kept wondering what it would feel like.
How cold would it be? If I had a dollar for every person that asked me if I had a wetsuit I could have bought one!
Would I see anything scary at the bottom?
Would I get bit by a fish?
Would I have to touch a fish?
Would the weeds in the water touch me?
Yeah, what a silly girl.
I grew up swimming in the Pacific Ocean. My mom had us on the beach all year round. I have been in the water, at least ankle deep, most often neck deep all over the southern California coast. I LOVE the ocean. I have been caught in more rip tides than I can remember, body surfed, and boogie boarded til my stomach and arms were raw. And I have rarely turned down a chance to get in a pool. I LOVE the water. Almost everywhere.
Except lakes.
Lakes have freaked me out since I was a kid. My sister was floating tummy down in an inner tube when we were about 10 and 11 (I was older by 18mos.). She was in a bikini and she got bit by a fish. I still remember seeing her fly out of the tube screaming, belly button bleeding and hysterically pointing to the water. That sealed the deal for me. No swimming in the lake. Any lake. Ever.
As time went by I did get on boats and attempt water skiing (never did manage to get "up") and then tubing. I did swim a little at Honeysuckle Beach years ago with a friend and I have another friend with a dock off Honeysuckle bay and I did jump in maybe twice. When I take the boys to the beach sometimes I will go in up past my waist, but only because they want me to hold them so they can go deeper. But EVERY time I am in a lake I am FREAKED out. I see flashes of my screaming sister, I look for fish and when I see them I want to run and wish I hadn't looked. When John was baptized just a few weeks ago it took ALL I had to get in the water up to my knees. AND there were LITTLE TINY fish EVERYWHERE!!! I still get squeamish thinking about it...
So, THAT is why today was SUCH a BIG DEAL!!!
Not only did I walk into the water feeling its icy grasp go up my body, but then I followed my coach and my friend as they shallowly dove right in! I came out of the water short of breath gasping at the chill. My friend Stephanie warned me that breathing while swimming would be harder at first because of the cold and she was right.
As I started my freestyle strokes I could only do two strokes before I came up for air. And I was gasping. I kept swimming, out to the corner of the Point where Coach said to go. The murky gunk at the bottom had only a bit of my focus while I was trying to remember "bubble-bubble-breathe" which has become my swimming and now my "I'm wearing out I don't want to do this" mantra. They stayed beside me the whole time. Slow going for them even as I worked at picking up my pace. He has been swimming for over 50 years and she for 20.
Once I got to the Point, Coach asked if I was okay. I said I was, but I was still a little scared. He suggested we swim under the dock bridge over to the other beach area. He told me to keep going until I got there. No stopping. I looked at him and through my nervous thoughts I took a moment to remember that he was the same guy who had coached me through learning how to do this in the first place, and he would not leave my side. Neither did Stephanie. I said a quick prayer and felt the Lord give me the courage to trust Him, to trust them and to trust the knowledge I had gained in about a dozen swimming classes.
And I did it. I swam steadily until the darkness under the bridge caught my attention.
DARK!
I was so focused on breathing and my stroke that I didn't see the bridge until I was under it. I popped my head up with a gasp, looked around and kept going seeing Coach and Stephanie waiting for me. I swam to them and realized:
I CAN DO THIS!!
I don't remember for sure but I think that was the first time I got all goofy and giddy about swimming in the lake. Coach then asked if I could see the post - to which I said no. I can't see that far ahead... so he pointed to a huge tree that I could see and said to go in that direction. Practicing my "sighting" so I am swimming toward the "buoy" in my race and not somewhere off course.
We started out and Coach swam across my legs (he has been having people in my class or even the Jr. lifeguards at one point get in my way, splash me and such to simulate what it will be like to have other swimmers right next to me for my swim). I adjusted my position. Then the waves from the wake of a boat started bobbing me around in the water and I adjusted my position. I remembered that Stephanie told me to breathe on the side opposite someone next to me or a wave coming. That helped. When we got to the post I looked up and got all goofy about having done it again! Coach had me swim around the post as if it was a buoy and gave me a few tips about how congested it will be during the swim. Arms, legs, bodies, faces all around me and I have to be able to get my bearings and keep going.
Then he had me practice "sighting" again. He crossed in front of me, splashed me with his feet and Stephanie did too. I swam back to the Point and he greeted me with loud praise about how straight I swam.
We climbed up the slippery steps and then back down again to do a shallow dive off the steps. Then we swam back to the beach and talked about the best way for me to practice the next few days before my race. As we got out the exhilaration continued. I wasn't that cold. The water didn't seem that cold. Everything was amazing. The sky was bluer, the water more beautiful, my success bigger... I know I was acting like a total dork but I couldn't help myself. I felt like I had just climbed Mt.Everest or something.
They were obviously happy for me too. It was a great moment in my life and these two wonderful people were right there in it with me.
When I talk about God's provision, or I hear other people talk about it, there is a quiet confidence and some positive outlook. But when you go from freaked out fear, to conquering it, to eagerly anticipating doing it again... now that is a whole new light on God's provision.
He provided for me this great Coach who has been an encouragement and a blessing every moment of my time with him. He provided a great friend, confident swimmer and wonderful encourager to swim with me in almost every class. God KNEW exactly what I would need and WHO I would need to face this challenge. And He did not hold back.
I felt SO loved, SO blessed and SO encouraged today. I knew so many of you were praying for me and cheering me on. It is pretty freaky being watched by so many people this way, but I opened myself up for it because God asked me to. I obeyed.
This whole thing continues to be about me obeying Him. One challenge, one day, one bike ride, one swim, one run at a time. So many of you have contacted me to share what you are doing in your life to become more healthy and to follow what God has asked you to do. It is humbling. I am grateful. And most of all I am overwhelmed by the work God is doing in so many of us who are just obeying, one challenge, one day, one bike ride, one swim, one run, one walk, one _?_ at a time.
And, because the excitement remains... YYYYAAAAYYYYY!!! I DID IT!!! :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Got Water??
Yeah, tomorrow's the big day. I have to swim in the lake. The big lake that is cold, wet, has stuff in it, has fish in it, has... oh I don't want tooooo!
It makes me cold just thinking about it and no, I do NOT have a wetsuit.
But, in order to do the triathlon I am signed up for I have to be able to swim in a lake.
Just like every other time I have had to jump out of my sofa surfing, cookie baking, french fry eating, fried chicken loving comfort zone, it is time to just step into what God has called me to do.
I will let you know tomorrow evening how it went.
Today's bike ride wasn't my favorite. I continue to feel tired and today's headwind (weather man said 15-20mph today) didn't really help. I did it. I about had a panic attack before I began. May I remind you from a past blog, that before any/every major athletic event in my life I have been injured in one way or another. I am 10 days from race day and every time I do ANY training the anxiety builds. I had to pray through it again today. My friend Leslie prayed for me and my mother-in-law sweetly reminded me that God was going to be with me all the way. He was. And let me tell you how I know...
My favorite part of the ride today was the clouds. They were big and puffy, flat on the bottom and cotton-like on the top with a pure white shimmer against the brilliant blue sky. When I would start to feel the tiredness in my head, my heart, or my legs, I would look to the sky at the amazing display God laid out for my enjoyment. I don't mind if you shared it a bit, but I knew He did it for me, just to keep me going and remind me that He sees all my hard work, even when I am not feeling enthusiastic. I love that He loves me. I love that He knows I can do this. He knows I am scared. He told me the time is now for this big dream/event to happen.
So, I will swim, bike and run, every training day and on race day with all I've got!
It makes me cold just thinking about it and no, I do NOT have a wetsuit.
But, in order to do the triathlon I am signed up for I have to be able to swim in a lake.
Just like every other time I have had to jump out of my sofa surfing, cookie baking, french fry eating, fried chicken loving comfort zone, it is time to just step into what God has called me to do.
I will let you know tomorrow evening how it went.
Today's bike ride wasn't my favorite. I continue to feel tired and today's headwind (weather man said 15-20mph today) didn't really help. I did it. I about had a panic attack before I began. May I remind you from a past blog, that before any/every major athletic event in my life I have been injured in one way or another. I am 10 days from race day and every time I do ANY training the anxiety builds. I had to pray through it again today. My friend Leslie prayed for me and my mother-in-law sweetly reminded me that God was going to be with me all the way. He was. And let me tell you how I know...
My favorite part of the ride today was the clouds. They were big and puffy, flat on the bottom and cotton-like on the top with a pure white shimmer against the brilliant blue sky. When I would start to feel the tiredness in my head, my heart, or my legs, I would look to the sky at the amazing display God laid out for my enjoyment. I don't mind if you shared it a bit, but I knew He did it for me, just to keep me going and remind me that He sees all my hard work, even when I am not feeling enthusiastic. I love that He loves me. I love that He knows I can do this. He knows I am scared. He told me the time is now for this big dream/event to happen.
So, I will swim, bike and run, every training day and on race day with all I've got!
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