Discouragement, Delight, Despair, Dynamite, Delicious, Depressed, Disgusted, Distracted, Dynamic, Delivered, Denial, the list could keep going... but I will stop there.
I am struggling. I am not going to lie.
I also find myself pushing back at the negative D words with the positive ones. Will this past week go Down in our family history as the week we spent together Delightfully tucked into our comfy warm home recovering from the flu bug of the moment, or will it become another marker on my long line of Depressed events where I leaned on food instead of God?
I won't know until I reach the end of this week, but for today, I will pick Dynamic for my word, rolling with the challenges, accomplishing the necessary and the neglected tasks, Drinking my water, and loving on the ones who need me.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Taking Care...setting goals...
There are many ways I need to be taking care of myself.
For years I have focused on taking care of the inside (the "unseen") me. My heart, my spirit, and my mind have had major overhauls in the last fifteen years or so. I have done this by choosing to spend time in God's Word, praying, receiving wise counsel from those who love Him and me, and spending lots of time worshiping God. By worshiping I mean listening to Christian music 95% of the time, cultivating an attitude of gratitude to God for all He has provided for me, and really savoring the blessings of the people He put in my life.
I have had tunnel vision - often so spiritually minded I'm no earthly good.
On our recent cruise to Mexico and back, I found myself discovering my neglect of the other facets of me. Yes, these past many months I have pursued physical health and wellness and that is definitely dealing with the outside (the "seen") me. But, since I have been doing that, I have found there is more than just working out and eating right that need to be done differently. I need to dress better, shower more, pursue action instead of neglect, play more, laugh harder and streamline my space.
This whole experience is definitely a significant process.
I once had the goal of completing a triathlon before I turned forty. I did it. I wonder what my next goal should be. There are 114 days until my 40th birthday. Hmmmm.....
For years I have focused on taking care of the inside (the "unseen") me. My heart, my spirit, and my mind have had major overhauls in the last fifteen years or so. I have done this by choosing to spend time in God's Word, praying, receiving wise counsel from those who love Him and me, and spending lots of time worshiping God. By worshiping I mean listening to Christian music 95% of the time, cultivating an attitude of gratitude to God for all He has provided for me, and really savoring the blessings of the people He put in my life.
I have had tunnel vision - often so spiritually minded I'm no earthly good.
On our recent cruise to Mexico and back, I found myself discovering my neglect of the other facets of me. Yes, these past many months I have pursued physical health and wellness and that is definitely dealing with the outside (the "seen") me. But, since I have been doing that, I have found there is more than just working out and eating right that need to be done differently. I need to dress better, shower more, pursue action instead of neglect, play more, laugh harder and streamline my space.
This whole experience is definitely a significant process.
I once had the goal of completing a triathlon before I turned forty. I did it. I wonder what my next goal should be. There are 114 days until my 40th birthday. Hmmmm.....
Monday, January 24, 2011
More Adjustments
Since I have had houseguests/family in my home for over a month I find myself needing a few days to readjust my life back to some sort of "normal".
No, I really have no clue what that looks like, but generally it means:
Decluttering my fridge of junk
Decluttering my counters
Cleaning out my kitchen of all things unnecessary - yes - I will be throwing food away or donating it!!
Cleaning out and organizing bedrooms, bathroom, and miscellaneous other spaces that have collected "stuff" not crucial to daily life.
I had planned that today would be my first day "back" on track for training but it just isn't going to work. When I planned today to be THAT day I had no idea my parents would stay on for an extra week (too ill to travel home) recovering from pneumonia and bronchitis. We had a very special time together but this threw all of our schedules for a loop and adjustments had to be made.
Keeping it all in balance means taking the time to attend to the space where my family dwells, bringing order and peace to random piles and activities and THEN I will hit the gym. Likely, next week. ;)
No, I really have no clue what that looks like, but generally it means:
Decluttering my fridge of junk
Decluttering my counters
Cleaning out my kitchen of all things unnecessary - yes - I will be throwing food away or donating it!!
Cleaning out and organizing bedrooms, bathroom, and miscellaneous other spaces that have collected "stuff" not crucial to daily life.
I had planned that today would be my first day "back" on track for training but it just isn't going to work. When I planned today to be THAT day I had no idea my parents would stay on for an extra week (too ill to travel home) recovering from pneumonia and bronchitis. We had a very special time together but this threw all of our schedules for a loop and adjustments had to be made.
Keeping it all in balance means taking the time to attend to the space where my family dwells, bringing order and peace to random piles and activities and THEN I will hit the gym. Likely, next week. ;)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
What does trying look like?
Trying...
The more I reflect on the word the more definitions I can think of.
I am trying to eat better.
I am trying to get to the gym.
The lake on the bathroom floor is trying my patience.
I am trying to do my homework (but not doing actually anything).
I am tired of trying.
Its trying to snow.
I'm trying on bathing suits (not a blast).
I'm trying on new shoes (more fun).
I'm trying to focus on my upcoming vacation but all I can think of is laundry...
Lots of opportunities for trying... but am I DOING anything?
Most days.
I think trying looks different depending on the day.
Today I tried to get to the gym but on the way my older son splashed (what he described as a "little" bit of water on his brother". Sitting in the parking lot of the gym, unbuckling the kids and noticing the "little" bit of water meant, I saturated him to the skin... so, back home to dry clothes and mom's not going back out!
Trying to eat better means dumping the junk food in the garbage instead of eating it (so it will be gone). Many holiday goodies have gone the way of the trash can these last couple of days, but I must admit, the best fudge I ever made, the peanut butter bars and the dark chocolate mints, those got eaten... all gone!
Trying on bathing suits, I opted out of. When we go to Mexico in 5 days and 18 hours, I will only bring one suit I already have but it looks much better on me than it did this past summer...
Trying on shoes, now that was cool. I found lovely short heeled strappy ones on clearance for 14.99 plus an extra 20% off... THAT is wonderful!
I had better wrap up this fun, because the next thing I will be doing - trying to find childcare for MOPS this week... not an easy thing to do!
The more I reflect on the word the more definitions I can think of.
I am trying to eat better.
I am trying to get to the gym.
The lake on the bathroom floor is trying my patience.
I am trying to do my homework (but not doing actually anything).
I am tired of trying.
Its trying to snow.
I'm trying on bathing suits (not a blast).
I'm trying on new shoes (more fun).
I'm trying to focus on my upcoming vacation but all I can think of is laundry...
Lots of opportunities for trying... but am I DOING anything?
Most days.
I think trying looks different depending on the day.
Today I tried to get to the gym but on the way my older son splashed (what he described as a "little" bit of water on his brother". Sitting in the parking lot of the gym, unbuckling the kids and noticing the "little" bit of water meant, I saturated him to the skin... so, back home to dry clothes and mom's not going back out!
Trying to eat better means dumping the junk food in the garbage instead of eating it (so it will be gone). Many holiday goodies have gone the way of the trash can these last couple of days, but I must admit, the best fudge I ever made, the peanut butter bars and the dark chocolate mints, those got eaten... all gone!
Trying on bathing suits, I opted out of. When we go to Mexico in 5 days and 18 hours, I will only bring one suit I already have but it looks much better on me than it did this past summer...
Trying on shoes, now that was cool. I found lovely short heeled strappy ones on clearance for 14.99 plus an extra 20% off... THAT is wonderful!
I had better wrap up this fun, because the next thing I will be doing - trying to find childcare for MOPS this week... not an easy thing to do!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Reflections on 2010
I woke up praying this morning. Not an unusual thing, pretty normal, but today it was reflective prayer, the closing of one year and the opening of another.
Everyone I know wants next year to be different. Some had an amazing year, others had an awful year and many had a year with ups and downs and everything in between.
I want next year to be different too. I liked this year. It was good. It wasn’t easy, I can’t remember any time when I thought I just sailed through a year without regrets or at least reflection on what was and what I wished would be different.
This past year was a turning point, a major transitional year for me. I transitioned from feeling like a frumpy, mediocre housewife and mom into more of who God created me to be. I chose to make some big changes.
Earlier this year He showed me these verses from Habakkuk 3:17-19
17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
What this passage continues to speak to me is that tangible things do not have to be in evidence to rejoice or to be strong and courageous. Knowing He is my Savior, He is my strength and that is what makes the difference in my life choices.
In 2010, I grew spiritually, I pressed in to God for more than I could ask for or imagine (Eph 3:20) and He gave it to me. I chose to respect and admire my husband more and not spend as much time indulging in self-pity over the things I wish he did differently. I chose to see my children in a fresh light, as brothers-in-Christ, works in progress, just like me. I heard the challenge of my God and His strategically placed friends to rise up and become the athlete He designed me to be. And finally, I chose to put the melancholy and negative self –talk out of my heart and mind (this, I have not mastered, but it is very different than what once was) and hear the Words of my Savior for my identity.
My hopes, dreams and desires for 2011 are to keep up what God asked me to change in 2010. I also want to believe Him for more. By His grace, I will let you know how it goes!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Adjustments Progress...
Well, I set the bar low for my expectations on my eating and exercise plan and I will say, I am meeting them! :) I am doing better than I thought in many ways; not as much "stress/busy" eating as I thought I would do, eating my yummy veggie soup for meals when I can, water intake pretty consistent, sleep, well, that remains a work in progress...
I feel good. I feel covered by the Lord and settled in His Season being about Him and not me. I have a peace about the family events happening and I am thankful He has already made provision for every need in my "nest" so I only need to hear from Him on my responsibilities and let Him take care of the rest.
I am so thankful for all of you who consistently cover me in prayer. I am soaking it up and savoring His presence with deep gratitude for who He is and all who He has put in my path, cyber or otherwise!
Merry Merry Merry Christmas! May you find yourself rejoicing every minute knowing your Savior came to give you all you could ever need or imagine! Much Love from cold, snowy, wet Idaho!
I feel good. I feel covered by the Lord and settled in His Season being about Him and not me. I have a peace about the family events happening and I am thankful He has already made provision for every need in my "nest" so I only need to hear from Him on my responsibilities and let Him take care of the rest.
I am so thankful for all of you who consistently cover me in prayer. I am soaking it up and savoring His presence with deep gratitude for who He is and all who He has put in my path, cyber or otherwise!
Merry Merry Merry Christmas! May you find yourself rejoicing every minute knowing your Savior came to give you all you could ever need or imagine! Much Love from cold, snowy, wet Idaho!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Making Adjustments
Ok, I must admit, I am moderately horrified that I have had nothing much to say in the past couple of weeks.
Well, I have had stuff to say, but no time to really sit down, type it out and share it. It is hard to know where to begin now, but I will try.
I have had to make some real significant adjustments to my stronger, faster, healthier me plan.
First some good news and some bad news... I have seen the endocrinologist and found there is not a single health issue going on besides my weight which is an awesome gift from the Lord I do not take lightly. However, the insurance company is rejecting my claim and so I will have to spend several hours typing, arguing, appealing, etc to try to get them to pay.
My adjustments:
1) I am taking some time off journaling my food. The additional tedium of entering every bite is adding more stress to a very busy time of year.
2) I am not setting any major goals for the next month or so. Again, trying to reach goals in the midst of stress, busy and or sick kids, family visiting, etc, is just not reasonable.
3) I am going to continue to focus on what I need to do to take care of myself including making wise food choices, working out, drinking enough water and getting good sleep.
4) I have seen my family practice doc and on his advice began taking anti-depressants. My hormonal fluctuations and the darker days are taking their toll on my mind and emotions. He assures me that this tool is not permanent and he sees many people this time of year that just need a boost to make it through our cold dark North Idaho winters and by spring I should be ready to resume life without them. I am relieved.
5) I am focusing on my family and our celebration of this special holiday with an attitude of freedom and not restriction. I am on this journey for life. No fancy food or diet is going to last forever. Only daily choices to walk in the new path I have chosen.
So, there you have it. I hope to write again this weekend as I have been sitting on a lot of different stuff to share, but haven't had time to process it thoroughly. God bless you and thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog.
Well, I have had stuff to say, but no time to really sit down, type it out and share it. It is hard to know where to begin now, but I will try.
I have had to make some real significant adjustments to my stronger, faster, healthier me plan.
First some good news and some bad news... I have seen the endocrinologist and found there is not a single health issue going on besides my weight which is an awesome gift from the Lord I do not take lightly. However, the insurance company is rejecting my claim and so I will have to spend several hours typing, arguing, appealing, etc to try to get them to pay.
My adjustments:
1) I am taking some time off journaling my food. The additional tedium of entering every bite is adding more stress to a very busy time of year.
2) I am not setting any major goals for the next month or so. Again, trying to reach goals in the midst of stress, busy and or sick kids, family visiting, etc, is just not reasonable.
3) I am going to continue to focus on what I need to do to take care of myself including making wise food choices, working out, drinking enough water and getting good sleep.
4) I have seen my family practice doc and on his advice began taking anti-depressants. My hormonal fluctuations and the darker days are taking their toll on my mind and emotions. He assures me that this tool is not permanent and he sees many people this time of year that just need a boost to make it through our cold dark North Idaho winters and by spring I should be ready to resume life without them. I am relieved.
5) I am focusing on my family and our celebration of this special holiday with an attitude of freedom and not restriction. I am on this journey for life. No fancy food or diet is going to last forever. Only daily choices to walk in the new path I have chosen.
So, there you have it. I hope to write again this weekend as I have been sitting on a lot of different stuff to share, but haven't had time to process it thoroughly. God bless you and thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog.
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