It has been a crazy week.
Then challenge of the triathlon over it was time to launch MOPS at my church. Our first meeting went very well I think.
Today I find myself continuing in the somewhat dazed state I have been in since my triathlon. I am buying groceries, doing laundry, scrubbing the toilet, you know, the things we mom's just DO. But somewhere in the back of my head I am still processing this major event.
I wonder about the moment I decided to do it. I think about the times when I loved the training, and the times I hated it. I have pondered what I should do next and when or if I should sign up for my next race.
Today I looked longingly at my borrowed bike. It calls to me, beckoning me to climb on and feel the wind wash over my face, the muscles in my legs pushing on the pedals, my hands shifting gears to make the ride smooth and consistent.
I also contemplated my running shoes. My feet haven't been in them for almost a week now. I miss them. I never thought I would miss running. It is my least favorite of the three sports, but I do.
I have looked through the pictures of the triathlon the professional photographers took of the racers. I look so different than most of them, not just the size of my body, but the look on my face. All the pictures except one I am grinning. Some I am smiling ear to ear, others just a grin, and the one that I am not smiling, I was focused intently on getting up the hill the photographer was sitting on.
I see the size of my thighs, my neck, my bust, but I see beyond that as well, the work God did in me that day is evident in my pictures. My shape was irrelevant to the performance I knew I could do, the visual aesthetics of my attire were not considered significant, and the "fanciness" of my equipment was not even an option.
You see what He did in me that day was this (as far as I can clearly communicate it today):
- I broke an old expectation of getting hurt before a big athletic event that I have had since I was 12.
- I experienced living a dream that was exclusively and only up to me (working through all of the training)
- I destroyed the expectations of myself and others have of me based on my physical appearance
- I indulged in the first of many exhilarating effects of consistent care and maintenance of my body
- I believed, finally, that the Freedom He promised me from the bondage of my weight was REALLY going to happen
- I loved finishing something. Completely. Without reservation or hesitation.
- I savored all the encouragement all those competing with me poured out for me
- I resonated with the Power of God that raised Christ from the dead living in me, through me, and catapulting me into the next season of my life.
I will never be the same. I am thankful for that. The old me, she is gone. The new me, she is all the great stuff the old me had but better and with extra special education on the blessing and power that comes through walking obediently as God lovingly requests.