Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Growing Beyond Myself

I think one of the reasons I am in a dry patch of writing is I am getting tired of so much introspection. Wandering through the maze of my heart and mind grows old when some of the same issues and dilemmas keep popping up.

Do I eat this?

Should I do that?

Is this going to bless my progress or slow it down?

I don't like having a bedtime, why is sleep so darn important? (Don't get me wrong, I happen to LOVE my bed, and I do wish I could spend more time in it, I just like the quiet of my house when no one needs me too!)

I look forward to the day when these aren't a part of my daily thoughts... but I can't imagine when that would be.

I did see the endocrinologist yesterday and he says that he sees no secondary cause for my being overweight, but genetics make it harder to take off. I need to keep up the hard work. I lost 5lbs since I saw him last. That was good news too.

In the midst of all the introspection God keeps calling me to come out of it to walk freely in the ministry He has placed me in - a free-style, listen carefully and obey immediately type ministry. Call someone when He says call, pray for someone else when He says pray, speak what He puts in my mouth and trust He has prepared the heart listening to hear it, and other things along those lines. I keep my eyes out and heart open for those divine appointments. I ask for them. I expect them. I don't need these moments to somehow fuel my value, like I used to. Now, I feel driven to speak Life to those God has put in my path. To declare purpose and peace. To draw others toward Him (certainly not to me- yikes!) knowing they will find all they seek in Him. 

This is how He keeps my focus beyond myself and directly onto Him. He is WAY cooler anyway! :)


  1. You are an amazing woman. It's obvious that the Lord has a mission for you, and it's wonderful that you're willing to follow and do it. You're a great example to me, and everyone else. Thank you.

  2. I have been in a bit of a block too, Jennifer. I've read on blogs of several folks in the same boat. I wonder if it's the season? Busy, or too much, or such emotion? At any rate, I know what you mean...sometimes I get tired of myself ;). But not of you, friend. I'll keep praying.

  3. A "free-style".... interesting... and with open heart!