I am going to fillet myself open here, so hang on and hang in for this one!
Just a few days ago my husband offered me the gift of getting my hair done. Not just the usual haircut by my favorite stylist and the removal of all things caterpillar from my eyebrows, but have my hair colored too!
I was thrilled for about 10 seconds.
Then my head started spinning - all the things I see as needs MUCH greater than having my hair colored started piling up and entangling my ability to receive this gift my husband wanted to give me.
Guilt washed over me like a tidal wave as I considered the luxury of the experience. I thought about all the people who know our regular budget is super tight and I wondered what they would think of me if they see me somewhere with the extravagance of having my hair colored.
I began to cry and I asked him if I could just have the money that he would spend on the coloring part of getting my hair done so I could spend it on meeting at least SOME of the needs racing though my mind.
My Love told me to not worry about how the needs are going to be met, but to receive his gift as a reward for all the hard work I do; working out, eating right, etc. I couldn't stop crying and so I just told him I would pray about it and get back with him.
I did pray. I talked to some other sisters-in-Christ about it. I prayed some more. I read my Bible and listened to His voice.
The wisdom of the Word, the women who know and love me, and His heart whispers to me all said the same thing, "receive the gift".
As if to confirm all that was happening in my world; this weeks study in "Lord, I Want to Know You by Kay Arthur on the names of God, the name is Jehovah Jireh- The Lord Who Provides.
Also, since my body is finally changing into a smaller size I have needed some new clothes. Last week I received a $10 gift card for one store, a $25 gift card for another and yet another for $15. I was able to purchase two sweaters and a vest for $28 with the sale prices and gift cards. The balance of the money I used for grocery needs.
WHY do I question His provision EVER????
He promises it, He delivers it, AND He also meets "wants" too.
Another thing about getting my hair colored - I don't hardly ever talk about it. I sit in the chair at the salon and wonder what it would look like if I could. The woman who does my hair is an artist. She sees my hair as a canvas and she always wants to do it, but we don't have it in our budget so I say no. It is a whispered desire from my heart to the Lord. That's all.
Apparently He whispered into the ear of my Love about giving me this gift. So, as soon as we can coordinate our schedules, I will have an appointment to remove the fuzzy eyebrows, trim the shaggy edges, and paint the canvas of my hair into something differently beautiful than what I normally wear.
I will receive this gift with a happy heart knowing other needs are provided for trusting my God and my Love to work it out together. I look forward to posting a picture when I am done!