Since I got home from vacation it seems like I can't seem to wrap my brain around intelligent writing. I have so much floating around in my head/heart, but every time I sit down to try to get something written. The battle battle begins. The kids break out in a fight, someone needs something, my head feels like it is going to explode from being overwhelmed, my husband goes out of town... etc.
Right now I am being asked to get a large bowl of water for one of those "growing" toys made in China that are made of unknown substances that apparently absorb water and increase in size. We "grew" an octopus last week and now we need to "grow a starfish". In the interest of "back to school awareness" I think we will measure this one each day and check his growth. Then we can make it an experiment. This starfish has been named "Sticker". I will keep you updated on the riveting results.
Life has such a way of going on, whether we are ready or not. Just like "Sticker" who will spend his next 3 days growing in a bowl as the center piece on our dining table, there will be change, growth and eventually decomposition :P - sorry, I just couldn't help myself!
So, my training is going well, I have had a few friends make comment about joining me on my race. I have found myself battling the need to compete - something I have never really done - and yet trying to stay focused on the purpose of this, becoming the athlete God designed me to be.
I am not eating as well as I would like to. I have found myself eating when I am not hungry, eating past my allotted calories, going to bed too late and struggling in general with not feeling "great" very often, I know it is because I have resumed junk food consumption. I will be changing that tomorrow. Tomorrow I go back to "clean" eating. I am going to recommit to going to bed at a decent hour and planning my meals ahead so I don't end up super hungry and grabbing what is handy - that is the old "survival" mode not the new place of "thriving" God has called me to in this season of my life.
SO - I press on. Going back to the basics and getting back on track. Choosing the Truth of who God designed me to be and walking in it. Convenient or not.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Hebrews 12 part 3
The final installment in my Hebrews 12 notes is below. I appreciate your indulgence since I am not anywhere near a brilliant theologian!
14-17Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.
There is a lot to this section.
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity.
We are designed to be corporate. We are supposed to work together, live together, and be connected. God designed us that way. I believe that if we are don't allow ourselves to connect, then we do miss all God has for us. Part of God's generosity towards us is each other.
I was talking with a friend the other day about this. It is SO important for us to receive from those who want to give to us. To believe that God is prompting the Body of Christ to bring provision for us. To refuse that gift is to refuse God's generosity towards us. We definitely do NOT want to do that!
Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.
Oh boy! Yes, this is one you need to be aware of! Bitter discontent can slowly creep up and then all of a sudden, you turn around and it's there! I consistently ask God to show me areas of my life that are places where bitterness, or even just discontent can take root. When they do, I rip 'em out and praise the Lord for His grace and the ability for His healing and forgiveness to wash over me and make me as if it was never there.
Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.
This is definitely a wake up call! Especially as I focus on my health and fitness. Do I want to trade away the vital athletic body God designed for me to have on one more chocolate chip cookie that is beyond my calorie allotment? Do I want to push beyond what my body was designed to be and miss out on what God really has for me?
I do not want to face Him someday regretting I did not take every opportunity He gave me, every blessing He wanted to pour out over me, certainly not over too many pieces of pizza, an ice cream sundae or anything else that would be considered an "impulsive" act outside of His provision for me and what my body needs or is designed to be.
Thanks again for reading what I write!
14-17Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.
There is a lot to this section.
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity.
We are designed to be corporate. We are supposed to work together, live together, and be connected. God designed us that way. I believe that if we are don't allow ourselves to connect, then we do miss all God has for us. Part of God's generosity towards us is each other.
I was talking with a friend the other day about this. It is SO important for us to receive from those who want to give to us. To believe that God is prompting the Body of Christ to bring provision for us. To refuse that gift is to refuse God's generosity towards us. We definitely do NOT want to do that!
Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.
Oh boy! Yes, this is one you need to be aware of! Bitter discontent can slowly creep up and then all of a sudden, you turn around and it's there! I consistently ask God to show me areas of my life that are places where bitterness, or even just discontent can take root. When they do, I rip 'em out and praise the Lord for His grace and the ability for His healing and forgiveness to wash over me and make me as if it was never there.
Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.
This is definitely a wake up call! Especially as I focus on my health and fitness. Do I want to trade away the vital athletic body God designed for me to have on one more chocolate chip cookie that is beyond my calorie allotment? Do I want to push beyond what my body was designed to be and miss out on what God really has for me?
I do not want to face Him someday regretting I did not take every opportunity He gave me, every blessing He wanted to pour out over me, certainly not over too many pieces of pizza, an ice cream sundae or anything else that would be considered an "impulsive" act outside of His provision for me and what my body needs or is designed to be.
Thanks again for reading what I write!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Hebrews 12 part 2
By faith Jennifer... will submit to my God's discipline and run on the path He has given me because I trust His love for me. Do you KNOW He loves you?
Check out this portion of Hebrews 12
4-11In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
12-13So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
What parts of that or all of that grasps your attention? There are a couple of points I want to address in here:
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children.
I like this portion because it is something I am trying to teach my own children. Because I love you, I must correct you, I know you don't like it, but it is SO important. But do I receive correction the same way they do? Or is there some shred of maturity within me that allows me to embrace the correction He is working in me? The challenges I face on a daily basis are about training. How will I respond? React? Will I feel like a victim of circumstance or believe in His victory within me and walk through the challenge receiving all He has for me in the learning process?
At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
Oh my do I want that to be me! And now,
12-13So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
Friends, we are in a marathon. We are either sitting on the cold hard curb pretending to be comfortable, sauntering along as if every step is barely relevant, or are we consistently moving forward, every step with purpose, bringing others along with us to embrace this marathon God designed for our growth and blessing and most certainly always for His glory alone. Take my hand, together, let's run for it!
Check out this portion of Hebrews 12
4-11In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
12-13So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
What parts of that or all of that grasps your attention? There are a couple of points I want to address in here:
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children.
I like this portion because it is something I am trying to teach my own children. Because I love you, I must correct you, I know you don't like it, but it is SO important. But do I receive correction the same way they do? Or is there some shred of maturity within me that allows me to embrace the correction He is working in me? The challenges I face on a daily basis are about training. How will I respond? React? Will I feel like a victim of circumstance or believe in His victory within me and walk through the challenge receiving all He has for me in the learning process?
At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
Oh my do I want that to be me! And now,
12-13So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
Friends, we are in a marathon. We are either sitting on the cold hard curb pretending to be comfortable, sauntering along as if every step is barely relevant, or are we consistently moving forward, every step with purpose, bringing others along with us to embrace this marathon God designed for our growth and blessing and most certainly always for His glory alone. Take my hand, together, let's run for it!
Hebrews 12
So, I said I would write about some of what God has revealed in this past week or so about Himself and His plan for me, and His plan for you. I looked up Hebrews 12 in the Message version. Read the whole thing. If you don't want to take time at the moment, I am going to quote portions of it and respond to them. I often read the NIV or Amplified, so the Message really gets in my face when I open it up. I like that. I like that God knows when I am tempted to become complacent and He provides a powerful prompting through scripture to jump start my slacker tendencies. Yep. I got 'em. I can't deny them or the rocky road ice cream cone I ate last night!
In the margin of my Bible I have written "Hebrews 11:41, By faith, Jennifer..." because a speaker came and told me to write that in the margin. I am a part of the legacy of those mighty warriors of the faith listed in Hebrews 11. That is great. Really. But what does that mean? I think for me, right now, the answer depends on the day... or the minute.
By faith Jennifer... got out of bed today.
or
By faith, Jennifer... corrected her children this time instead of yelling at them.
or
By faith, Jennifer... did her workout today even though she really didn't feel well.
or
By faith Jennifer... apologized to her husband for a disrespectful tone, even though what he said hurt me...
or
By faith Jennifer... continues to blog, believing God is using the words He has put in my heart to communicate hope, blessing and encouragement for my brothers and sisters who need it.
The other day, the Lord drew my eyes into Hebrews 12. So many pieces in it caught my spirit. Like a carefully woven safety net, like a delicate butterfly on a elaborately gorgeous day, like a twinkle in a child's eye as they smile KNOWING they are loved with all your heart.
Hebrews 12
1-3Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!
Oh my! What a jolt!
get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit!
No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.
Yikes! Okay Lord, strip me down, what is the spiritual fat in my life? What are the parasitic sins? What stuff is robbing me of that kind of endeavor? Please bring revelation here Lord!!
he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever.
Father, please keep reminding me of where I am headed. It is embarrassing to me to think of what others may think of me. I know those who love me are proud of me and excited for my commitment and my determination, and they should be all that matter, but, I still hear the voices in my head. The Liar speaking death to this path You have set me on. Declaring me unable to be anything different or more or better than what I have struggled with my whole life.
When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through.
I doubt that any strangers actually feel hostility towards me. He endured that. Surely if someone looks at me and is appalled by my size or choice of functional wardrobe for my event, it will still be irrelevant in my pursuit. It was all relevant to Him. He loved anyway. All the way through.
I have no excuses. Not one.
By faith, I think this will be a three part blog. More later when I get my littles to bed!
In the margin of my Bible I have written "Hebrews 11:41, By faith, Jennifer..." because a speaker came and told me to write that in the margin. I am a part of the legacy of those mighty warriors of the faith listed in Hebrews 11. That is great. Really. But what does that mean? I think for me, right now, the answer depends on the day... or the minute.
By faith Jennifer... got out of bed today.
or
By faith, Jennifer... corrected her children this time instead of yelling at them.
or
By faith, Jennifer... did her workout today even though she really didn't feel well.
or
By faith Jennifer... apologized to her husband for a disrespectful tone, even though what he said hurt me...
or
By faith Jennifer... continues to blog, believing God is using the words He has put in my heart to communicate hope, blessing and encouragement for my brothers and sisters who need it.
The other day, the Lord drew my eyes into Hebrews 12. So many pieces in it caught my spirit. Like a carefully woven safety net, like a delicate butterfly on a elaborately gorgeous day, like a twinkle in a child's eye as they smile KNOWING they are loved with all your heart.
Hebrews 12
1-3Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!
Oh my! What a jolt!
get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit!
No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.
Yikes! Okay Lord, strip me down, what is the spiritual fat in my life? What are the parasitic sins? What stuff is robbing me of that kind of endeavor? Please bring revelation here Lord!!
he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever.
Father, please keep reminding me of where I am headed. It is embarrassing to me to think of what others may think of me. I know those who love me are proud of me and excited for my commitment and my determination, and they should be all that matter, but, I still hear the voices in my head. The Liar speaking death to this path You have set me on. Declaring me unable to be anything different or more or better than what I have struggled with my whole life.
When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through.
I doubt that any strangers actually feel hostility towards me. He endured that. Surely if someone looks at me and is appalled by my size or choice of functional wardrobe for my event, it will still be irrelevant in my pursuit. It was all relevant to Him. He loved anyway. All the way through.
I have no excuses. Not one.
By faith, I think this will be a three part blog. More later when I get my littles to bed!
Friday, July 23, 2010
I know it has been a while...
I do have several things I want to post. I have had a great vacation with my husband and even though he gave me permission to go ahead and keep posting on our trip, I didn't feel right about it. I knew I needed to give him my full attention and focus.
And now, since we are going to have some family time camping this weekend I will save my posts until Monday.
These precious people God put in my life have to come first. My writing and those of you precious folks who take the time to read what I write will have to wait.
If you want a sneak preview on what I will blog on for Monday take a look at Hebrews 12. Blessings!!
And now, since we are going to have some family time camping this weekend I will save my posts until Monday.
These precious people God put in my life have to come first. My writing and those of you precious folks who take the time to read what I write will have to wait.
If you want a sneak preview on what I will blog on for Monday take a look at Hebrews 12. Blessings!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Within inches of total tragedy...
We have no idea how much time we have. Or how much time our loved ones have.
Yesterday a friend of mine was in a bad bike wreck. She could have died. She doesn't call Jesus her Lord, but that doesn't mean He didn't save her life. She is still in intensive care today and her husband just called tonight to tell me about her condition.
I know my God. I may not understand all His plans or the circumstances He allows in our lives but I KNOW He loves me and those He created, whether they love Him or not. Only He knows the path each of us are on. Only He knows the journey each of us will take to end up in His arms.
I am praying for my precious friend and her beloved husband who has been a dear friend of ours for 20 years. We were delighted when they found each other and we are consistently praying that our lives and our love for them will be a reflection of God's great love for them.
Please pray for your loved ones. No one knows how much time there is. There is no time to rush, for God is the Father of time, but we must follow His lead, we need to obey when He says PRAY. We need to speak up when He asks us to. We who know Christ have nothing to lose. Those who have yet to know Him, they have everything to lose.
Don't be pushy, don't be judgemental, don't stress, just press your head deep into the chest of your Savior and listen to His heart beat for all those you love. And even the ones you don't. He will know when the time is right. He will know what is next. He will give you the words. Listen. Hear the heart of God. It beats for us all.
On the "eating" note as far as my vacation goes, I am doing better, though the samples at the New Belgium Brewery tour today did nothing to improve my waistline! :) I did eat zucchini with my dinner tonight, another step toward adult style eating! And yes. I did like it. Weird. ;)
Yesterday a friend of mine was in a bad bike wreck. She could have died. She doesn't call Jesus her Lord, but that doesn't mean He didn't save her life. She is still in intensive care today and her husband just called tonight to tell me about her condition.
I know my God. I may not understand all His plans or the circumstances He allows in our lives but I KNOW He loves me and those He created, whether they love Him or not. Only He knows the path each of us are on. Only He knows the journey each of us will take to end up in His arms.
I am praying for my precious friend and her beloved husband who has been a dear friend of ours for 20 years. We were delighted when they found each other and we are consistently praying that our lives and our love for them will be a reflection of God's great love for them.
Please pray for your loved ones. No one knows how much time there is. There is no time to rush, for God is the Father of time, but we must follow His lead, we need to obey when He says PRAY. We need to speak up when He asks us to. We who know Christ have nothing to lose. Those who have yet to know Him, they have everything to lose.
Don't be pushy, don't be judgemental, don't stress, just press your head deep into the chest of your Savior and listen to His heart beat for all those you love. And even the ones you don't. He will know when the time is right. He will know what is next. He will give you the words. Listen. Hear the heart of God. It beats for us all.
On the "eating" note as far as my vacation goes, I am doing better, though the samples at the New Belgium Brewery tour today did nothing to improve my waistline! :) I did eat zucchini with my dinner tonight, another step toward adult style eating! And yes. I did like it. Weird. ;)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Isaiah 40
I didn't post yesterday because there was just too much going on. Good stuff, hard stuff, packing stuff, prepping stuff, all busy stuff. I did grab some time first thing in the morning to read my Bible before my little fellas came zipping into my room asking for food - I have one in particular that - I'm not kidding - is awake for about 5seconds before he decides he needs to eat. I have about 2 seconds from when he wakes me up to figure out what to feed him!
Anyway, back to what I was reading... I was reading Isaiah 40. I often hear the final few verses quoted, they are lovely "feel - good" reminders of who God is -- but what about the rest of it?
Today I want to draw your attention to The Message version and to the verses above the most often quoted passage. All of Isaiah 40 is wonderful but in the interest of really highlighting a few things - I am just posting this much:
How often do we forget how BIG He is????
25-26"So—who is like me?
Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
counts them off, calls each by name
—so magnificent! so powerful!—
and never overlooks a single one?
How often do we do this???
27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Here is His response:
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
And this is what He does for us regardless of our attitude:
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.
I really love this version because it is so REAL. It reminds me that being REAL is super important. Many of you compliment me on my transparency. But I want you to know that the transparency is what keeps me from thinking too highly of myself - or you thinking of me that way either.
I am a child of God working hard on learning how to obey. I want to hear Him in every aspect of my life. I want to KNOW the path I am walking He has led me to. I want to trust Him with my every step.
And then, like today, I get too tired & too hungry to care -really - what to eat that will bless my body. I had a bunch of "vacation" food today - I will do better tomorrow. Especially since I have a big workout in the morning to remind me that I really want LESS OF ME to cross that finish line in September!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
What to do when you don't know what to do...
Wow. What a weekend.
So many people I know are in pain right now. Relationships are hurt and being hurt. I have several friends struggling in their marriages, several friends struggling in relationships with their families, several issues I am processing in my own life, and the list goes on.
Here's the thing,
It is all quite overwhelming if you forget how big our God is. Not only is He big, He is not stunned by the turn of events that has occurred in any of our lives.
John 16:33 says something we really need to keep in mind during hard times:
"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - Jesus
We need to reach for and believe in the Peace that we only find in Him. If we aren't finding peace, then we need to ask those we know that have His peace to pray for us. I do that. I have His peace within me, but I still need someone to pray for me when I find that peace elusive.
Please don't weather the storms of life alone. Reach out to those who love you. Reach out for people you know who have strength you don't. Reach out to God. He loves you.
So many people I know are in pain right now. Relationships are hurt and being hurt. I have several friends struggling in their marriages, several friends struggling in relationships with their families, several issues I am processing in my own life, and the list goes on.
Here's the thing,
It is all quite overwhelming if you forget how big our God is. Not only is He big, He is not stunned by the turn of events that has occurred in any of our lives.
John 16:33 says something we really need to keep in mind during hard times:
"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - Jesus
We need to reach for and believe in the Peace that we only find in Him. If we aren't finding peace, then we need to ask those we know that have His peace to pray for us. I do that. I have His peace within me, but I still need someone to pray for me when I find that peace elusive.
Please don't weather the storms of life alone. Reach out to those who love you. Reach out for people you know who have strength you don't. Reach out to God. He loves you.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Pain = Growth
One thing I KNOW for sure is that Pain is an outstanding catalyst for growth.
We have all experienced some kind of pain in this life. The pain of loss, the pain of loneliness, the pain of change, the pain of ____. (You fill in the blank)Even the pain of my training has affected my personal growth.
When I had a miscarriage 3 1/2 years ago I was in agony. I thought that after almost a decade of the pain of infertility and then 2 healthy babies I God wouldn't "make me" go through something like that. I was livid. I felt Him near me in the process of grief, but it wasn't until I let loose with my anger (I actually screamed an obscenity at Him) that He enveloped me with His presence so fully that I about fell over in awe. I concluded that He just wanted me to be really honest with Him and myself about my pain and how I REALLY felt. That release of the anger, grief and despair not only gave me a deeper and more thorough understanding of His love for me, but also a tangible experience with my Beloved. Since then, when I am in pain or struggling with something, I take a minute to really ask Him to help me be honest with myself and Him, and then I pray and watch Him bring about the growth and healing He had planned.
He hates it when we are in pain. Since we live here, not in Heaven yet, we will have pain, but He is always there to meet us in it. If you are in pain, a simple headache or a major heart ache, allow Him to meet you in it. He will not leave you to figure it out for yourself. Unless that is what YOU choose.
We have all experienced some kind of pain in this life. The pain of loss, the pain of loneliness, the pain of change, the pain of ____. (You fill in the blank)Even the pain of my training has affected my personal growth.
When I had a miscarriage 3 1/2 years ago I was in agony. I thought that after almost a decade of the pain of infertility and then 2 healthy babies I God wouldn't "make me" go through something like that. I was livid. I felt Him near me in the process of grief, but it wasn't until I let loose with my anger (I actually screamed an obscenity at Him) that He enveloped me with His presence so fully that I about fell over in awe. I concluded that He just wanted me to be really honest with Him and myself about my pain and how I REALLY felt. That release of the anger, grief and despair not only gave me a deeper and more thorough understanding of His love for me, but also a tangible experience with my Beloved. Since then, when I am in pain or struggling with something, I take a minute to really ask Him to help me be honest with myself and Him, and then I pray and watch Him bring about the growth and healing He had planned.
He hates it when we are in pain. Since we live here, not in Heaven yet, we will have pain, but He is always there to meet us in it. If you are in pain, a simple headache or a major heart ache, allow Him to meet you in it. He will not leave you to figure it out for yourself. Unless that is what YOU choose.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
What's the payoff?
Today my swim instructor asked me a question I hadn't thought about yet regarding my triathlon race.
He asked me, "What's the payoff?" I looked a bit confused I think and he clarified, "what do you get if you do this?" I looked up at him from the pool and answered, "I want to finish and finish well." He looked a little stunned. Then he smiled down at me and said, "That's great!".
I have been thinking about that all day. I didn't really think long about the answer, it just came out once I understood what he was asking. It's really how I feel about everything I do.
How well I do something is really only up to me. God will give me strength to go farther than I think I can and with my faith in Him I can do the stuff that is hard for me to do, the Holy Spirit gives me the insight on what to pursue and when, but in the end, here on this earth, I am using all He has given me to live this life to the best of my ability.
Take my marriage for example, what's the payoff there? I work hard to be respectful of my man. I choose daily to make decisions that will bless my husband and my marriage. The interesting thing is that I have found concerning my marriage is that it is more about me and my relationship with the Lord then my relationship with my husband. It is God that I told I would love, honor and cherish my husband. Yes, I told him too, but my commitment was made to God. I don't get to be comfortable in our marriage. I get to chose to walk by faith and believe God is at work in my life (whether I like it or not) through my husband. Everywhere I feel a lack - it is God's job to fill it. Erik, he is human and his heart is for me but he won't always get it right. But, my God, He always knows what I need, and He loves me enough to give it to me. When I receive what God provides, it is easier to face the challenges or even disappointments of marriage. In the end, I want to "finish well". When I stand before God at the end of my life and I have to answer for the decisions I have made, I want to know I did every thing He asked me to, regardless of my personal comfort.
And my parenting. Finishing well in the process of parenting feels like a moving target. And, honestly, I think it is. As you start to adjust to your kids, they change and you have to start again. Does that mean I shouldn't try though? Every day I want to reflect what I am learning from the Lord onto my kids. I want them to know the process and not just the end result. I frequently repent to God and then to them for unfortunate choices in my attitude and my behavior. Praying in front of them about my failings makes them aware that it is OK for them to make mistakes and then to know what to do to bring healing to the situation. They know I am not perfect, and my confessions and repentance and then asking Jesus and them to forgive me makes it okay for them to make mistakes too.
You see, God made us to finish well. There is nothing He created that is incapable of doing that. Free will allows us to make the choice about whether we will or not.
I want to finish well. That is my pay off.
He asked me, "What's the payoff?" I looked a bit confused I think and he clarified, "what do you get if you do this?" I looked up at him from the pool and answered, "I want to finish and finish well." He looked a little stunned. Then he smiled down at me and said, "That's great!".
I have been thinking about that all day. I didn't really think long about the answer, it just came out once I understood what he was asking. It's really how I feel about everything I do.
How well I do something is really only up to me. God will give me strength to go farther than I think I can and with my faith in Him I can do the stuff that is hard for me to do, the Holy Spirit gives me the insight on what to pursue and when, but in the end, here on this earth, I am using all He has given me to live this life to the best of my ability.
Take my marriage for example, what's the payoff there? I work hard to be respectful of my man. I choose daily to make decisions that will bless my husband and my marriage. The interesting thing is that I have found concerning my marriage is that it is more about me and my relationship with the Lord then my relationship with my husband. It is God that I told I would love, honor and cherish my husband. Yes, I told him too, but my commitment was made to God. I don't get to be comfortable in our marriage. I get to chose to walk by faith and believe God is at work in my life (whether I like it or not) through my husband. Everywhere I feel a lack - it is God's job to fill it. Erik, he is human and his heart is for me but he won't always get it right. But, my God, He always knows what I need, and He loves me enough to give it to me. When I receive what God provides, it is easier to face the challenges or even disappointments of marriage. In the end, I want to "finish well". When I stand before God at the end of my life and I have to answer for the decisions I have made, I want to know I did every thing He asked me to, regardless of my personal comfort.
And my parenting. Finishing well in the process of parenting feels like a moving target. And, honestly, I think it is. As you start to adjust to your kids, they change and you have to start again. Does that mean I shouldn't try though? Every day I want to reflect what I am learning from the Lord onto my kids. I want them to know the process and not just the end result. I frequently repent to God and then to them for unfortunate choices in my attitude and my behavior. Praying in front of them about my failings makes them aware that it is OK for them to make mistakes and then to know what to do to bring healing to the situation. They know I am not perfect, and my confessions and repentance and then asking Jesus and them to forgive me makes it okay for them to make mistakes too.
You see, God made us to finish well. There is nothing He created that is incapable of doing that. Free will allows us to make the choice about whether we will or not.
I want to finish well. That is my pay off.
Yesterday's Victory
Yesterday I had to dig deep to complete my workout. I am pursuing a long held dream and I did it. I completed my 8miles on the bike in the gym (didn't have available child care to do it on the road).
It was painful. More than I expected. I have done six miles before, a few times. But then, I did it on the cushy seat of the regular gym stationary bikes. Yesterday, I decided to get on one of the road bike simulator bikes. They have a small, not cushy seat, handle bars in actual correct location causing me to bend over more than the other bike, and they are right in front of the gym. And I wore my new training pants (compression pants) that are super tight. Yikes!
I was pretty unnerved about wearing those pants out in public since they are super tight and my body, let's face it, is no where near a size that should be wearing anything super tight. A friend of mine stated it well, "wear them like it's nobody's business, because it is nobody's business". They are a means to an end, not a fashion statement. Anyone my size wearing something like that, knows EXACTLY what it looks like! But, they worked, my ride was much better in them than in the cotton capri pants I have been wearing to the gym.
The pain in my rear was significant, but the pain in my arms and wrists surprised me. It kept distracting me. I was trying to keep the good form the gal who fitted me for the bike told me about. Soft elbows, relaxed shoulders, etc. But it was super hard.
So, here is how I did it. These aren't trade secrets or anything, I am just sharing how God has provided the strength for me in really amazing ways.
1) Years ago I learned a term called "soft eyes". It was in a book called "Centered Riding". It talks about picking a focal point in the distance and then seeing the other things around it without directly focusing on them. I have used that knowledge in many places, but yesterday, it really help me stay relaxed, no matter how uncomfortable I was.
2) I almost always ask God what I am to listen to while I work out. I want the Author of my life to lead me in every area - including what I put in my head during workouts. Yesterday, it was Jars of Clay, the first CD they every put out. It spoke to me of how far I had come from where I was when I first heard that music over ten years ago. It brought godly inspiration and courage when I was running out of both.
3) I decided to go half way. Since I have had this head cold my energy has been pretty low. But, I have not wanted to stop or even slow down my training. My last few days have been pretty low key so I have had good rest time after my workouts. I determined after the first couple of miles that I was miserable and could only make it half way. I set my mind to making it four miles.
However, after I stepped off the pedals at four miles and felt the numbness wear off in my nether regions I looked at the bike and the clock and decided to keep going. At least another two miles. After all, I am already half way there, right? So I did. At six miles I got off the bike again. Looked at the stats on the monitor and determined that since I only had two more miles, I can surely finish it... of course I can! The last mile was so hard to get through but the relief and the excitement when I did was spectacular! Sometimes I think that is why I keep going. For the exhilaration of finishing what I didn't think I could finish.
So much of exercise is a head game (and so is life). I know that now. I am glad the God who speaks to me, who knows all that goes on in my head gave me what I needed to do what He asked me to do. I am counting on that same God for all that I need to do today.
It was painful. More than I expected. I have done six miles before, a few times. But then, I did it on the cushy seat of the regular gym stationary bikes. Yesterday, I decided to get on one of the road bike simulator bikes. They have a small, not cushy seat, handle bars in actual correct location causing me to bend over more than the other bike, and they are right in front of the gym. And I wore my new training pants (compression pants) that are super tight. Yikes!
I was pretty unnerved about wearing those pants out in public since they are super tight and my body, let's face it, is no where near a size that should be wearing anything super tight. A friend of mine stated it well, "wear them like it's nobody's business, because it is nobody's business". They are a means to an end, not a fashion statement. Anyone my size wearing something like that, knows EXACTLY what it looks like! But, they worked, my ride was much better in them than in the cotton capri pants I have been wearing to the gym.
The pain in my rear was significant, but the pain in my arms and wrists surprised me. It kept distracting me. I was trying to keep the good form the gal who fitted me for the bike told me about. Soft elbows, relaxed shoulders, etc. But it was super hard.
So, here is how I did it. These aren't trade secrets or anything, I am just sharing how God has provided the strength for me in really amazing ways.
1) Years ago I learned a term called "soft eyes". It was in a book called "Centered Riding". It talks about picking a focal point in the distance and then seeing the other things around it without directly focusing on them. I have used that knowledge in many places, but yesterday, it really help me stay relaxed, no matter how uncomfortable I was.
2) I almost always ask God what I am to listen to while I work out. I want the Author of my life to lead me in every area - including what I put in my head during workouts. Yesterday, it was Jars of Clay, the first CD they every put out. It spoke to me of how far I had come from where I was when I first heard that music over ten years ago. It brought godly inspiration and courage when I was running out of both.
3) I decided to go half way. Since I have had this head cold my energy has been pretty low. But, I have not wanted to stop or even slow down my training. My last few days have been pretty low key so I have had good rest time after my workouts. I determined after the first couple of miles that I was miserable and could only make it half way. I set my mind to making it four miles.
However, after I stepped off the pedals at four miles and felt the numbness wear off in my nether regions I looked at the bike and the clock and decided to keep going. At least another two miles. After all, I am already half way there, right? So I did. At six miles I got off the bike again. Looked at the stats on the monitor and determined that since I only had two more miles, I can surely finish it... of course I can! The last mile was so hard to get through but the relief and the excitement when I did was spectacular! Sometimes I think that is why I keep going. For the exhilaration of finishing what I didn't think I could finish.
So much of exercise is a head game (and so is life). I know that now. I am glad the God who speaks to me, who knows all that goes on in my head gave me what I needed to do what He asked me to do. I am counting on that same God for all that I need to do today.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Preparation...
It's all in how you prepare right?
So many things I can think of involve preparation.
Meals
Activities with three little kids
An evening out with my favorite Man
Getting housework done (with 3 little kids running around)
The list goes on, but you get the idea...
So, as I process last night's blog Floundering, Falling, Failing I need to see some insight from the Bible on how to prepare. Let's face it, if I don't prepare, I will definitely do all of the above!
I was reminded this morning of one of my favorite passages about preparing... Joshua Chapter 1. Moses has just died and God had chosen the next leader, Joshua. This part, in particular resonates in my heart:
3 I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4 Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea [a]5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
This is how it speaks to me:
God is instructing Joshua who is now in charge of this gigantic group of, let's face it, not terribly obedient people, to take hold of what God has for them, The Promised Land. God knew what was going on in Joshua's heart, just as He does mine. God tells him what His plan is, and then encourages Joshua in a very specific bit of instruction and blessing.
Personally applied scripture can change your life. It has changed mine. Here is what that looks like:
So many things I can think of involve preparation.
Meals
Activities with three little kids
An evening out with my favorite Man
Getting housework done (with 3 little kids running around)
The list goes on, but you get the idea...
So, as I process last night's blog Floundering, Falling, Failing I need to see some insight from the Bible on how to prepare. Let's face it, if I don't prepare, I will definitely do all of the above!
I was reminded this morning of one of my favorite passages about preparing... Joshua Chapter 1. Moses has just died and God had chosen the next leader, Joshua. This part, in particular resonates in my heart:
3 I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4 Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea [a]5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
This is how it speaks to me:
God is instructing Joshua who is now in charge of this gigantic group of, let's face it, not terribly obedient people, to take hold of what God has for them, The Promised Land. God knew what was going on in Joshua's heart, just as He does mine. God tells him what His plan is, and then encourages Joshua in a very specific bit of instruction and blessing.
Personally applied scripture can change your life. It has changed mine. Here is what that looks like:
Jennifer, I will give you every place where you set your foot, as you swim, bike, and run - I promised you I would do this. No one will be able to stop you all the days of your life because I am teaching you a new way to live, being healthy and fit. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you, Jennifer; I will never leave you nor forsake you. "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead others to inherit the health and fitness I want to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions I provide for you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let My Word depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
I understand that this may or may not be theologically an accurate representation of this exact scripture. But one thing I know very well, is that God wants me to apply His Word to my daily journey. This is it. Every morning, every afternoon, every evening, that is my journey. I am not twisting His Words to suit my situation, I am listening to His Spirit, seeking His input for my days and receiving what He shows me to apply.
I am very well aware others are watching me. I have been so humbled by all who have expressed the blessing of watching me take on this challenge. My heart's desire was not to make a public spectacle of myself on this journey but to walk it out - out in the open - to keep me accountable to what God is asking me to do - among those He has put in my life.
I continue to pray you will be blessed, not by me, but by God's heart for YOU on this journey as well.
He loves us!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Floundering, Falling, Failing...
Those are my fears concerning this triathlon.
Floundering in the swim.
Actually, a flounder would likely find my comment insulting. I am afraid of choking on water when trying to breathe, swallowing who knows what in the open water, and wearing myself out at the very first part of this big race.
Falling off the bike.
I am TERRIFIED of falling off the bike or getting hit by a car, or messing up someone else's race accidentally. If I knew I could fall off the bike without getting hurt, that wouldn't be so bad. But, I don't. The reason this is my biggest fear is because I see training for this leg of my race presents the most opportunity for injury that could mess up my race day plans.
Failing to meet my goal to complete the race.
I am not worried about the run, because I am likely to be able to run part and walk part without too many issues. But, the fear of something, anything going wrong, so I don't finish the race for any reason, really scares me. I know my husband, family and friends will still be there if it doesn't happen, but almost every major goal I have ever set has had some unfortunate event either within or outside of my control, that has blocked my seeing it to the end sucessfully.
I am not sharing my fears with you just to focus on the negative, but to put them into the open, to receive your prayers should you feel led, and to acknowledge what a significant event this is in my life.
Every time I take these things to the Lord I hear the same response, just one day at a time, dear one. Just one day at a time. I know I have said it before, but let's face it, every day we need to be reminded, one day at a time! :)
Floundering in the swim.
Actually, a flounder would likely find my comment insulting. I am afraid of choking on water when trying to breathe, swallowing who knows what in the open water, and wearing myself out at the very first part of this big race.
Falling off the bike.
I am TERRIFIED of falling off the bike or getting hit by a car, or messing up someone else's race accidentally. If I knew I could fall off the bike without getting hurt, that wouldn't be so bad. But, I don't. The reason this is my biggest fear is because I see training for this leg of my race presents the most opportunity for injury that could mess up my race day plans.
Failing to meet my goal to complete the race.
I am not worried about the run, because I am likely to be able to run part and walk part without too many issues. But, the fear of something, anything going wrong, so I don't finish the race for any reason, really scares me. I know my husband, family and friends will still be there if it doesn't happen, but almost every major goal I have ever set has had some unfortunate event either within or outside of my control, that has blocked my seeing it to the end sucessfully.
I am not sharing my fears with you just to focus on the negative, but to put them into the open, to receive your prayers should you feel led, and to acknowledge what a significant event this is in my life.
Every time I take these things to the Lord I hear the same response, just one day at a time, dear one. Just one day at a time. I know I have said it before, but let's face it, every day we need to be reminded, one day at a time! :)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Living! Loving! Dancing!
When was the last time you really LIVED the life you have?
Not complaining, not wishing it were different, not hoping someone would swoop in and save the day?
When was the last time you really LOVED someone?
I am talking about loving someone you are not in the least bit tempted to be nice to, I am talking about sacrificing something for someone, not because you felt like you had to, but because you wanted to.
When was the last time you DANCED?
Not at a club when everyone else was dancing, but when no one was looking? When you felt really happy and just busted a move, right at that moment no matter who was around.
I hope you have done all three recently.We all need to take the time to do them. Try it. You may like it. You may want to make a habit of it.
Let me know how it goes... :)
Sunday, July 4, 2010
I love you Mom!
My kids say "I love you" a lot. Since they started speaking, it is not uncommon for it to be said many times every day. Sometimes, other people get told "I love you" a lot too.
It is a spontaneous eruption that comes from their little hearts. Some people don't know what to do about it. Others just smile and say, "I love you too".
The days when they say it over and over again - to the point where you wonder if they really mean it or if they just don't know what to say, I have tuned into their "happy" factor. The days when it comes out the most is when they are happiest, most "full" of heart and content with their world. It is precious.
I never want to take those three little words for granted, EVER.
Erik and I have said "I love you" often to each other. We say it at least 3-4 times a day. When my heart is happy and I am content and looking at the man God provided for me I may blurt it out several more times. I imagine my little fellas learned to be free with those words from me. I am thankful for that.
You see, I don't think you can say these three precious words enough. Just ask the ones who have lost those they love.
My journey to better health is not so much about being thinner, faster, or stronger, but about my love for my God, my family, and my precious friends God has gifted me with.
I love you!
It is a spontaneous eruption that comes from their little hearts. Some people don't know what to do about it. Others just smile and say, "I love you too".
The days when they say it over and over again - to the point where you wonder if they really mean it or if they just don't know what to say, I have tuned into their "happy" factor. The days when it comes out the most is when they are happiest, most "full" of heart and content with their world. It is precious.
I never want to take those three little words for granted, EVER.
Erik and I have said "I love you" often to each other. We say it at least 3-4 times a day. When my heart is happy and I am content and looking at the man God provided for me I may blurt it out several more times. I imagine my little fellas learned to be free with those words from me. I am thankful for that.
You see, I don't think you can say these three precious words enough. Just ask the ones who have lost those they love.
My journey to better health is not so much about being thinner, faster, or stronger, but about my love for my God, my family, and my precious friends God has gifted me with.
I love you!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Personal Victory
So, if you are on Face Book you have seen my status update. I had an amazing moment today.
I have been wondering if I can really do 'this' triathlon. I know I am acting confident most of the time but the doubts really do creep in, often.
I head out to the Kroc Center to do my Saturday run. According to my schedule I am supposed to run for 30 minutes. This is not a straight run, but a 9 minute walk/run warm up and then 3/1 interval training, run for 3 minutes then walk 1 minute and run 3 and so on until I reach 30 minutes, and then I often have to walk longer to get my heart rate down low enough to breathe and walk normally :).
I was a little nervous about the length of time, I have never gone that far before. I did 20 minutes on Wednesday and that was pretty hard.
I get to about 13 minutes - I have only run for 3 minutes of my regular 3/1 interval for this session and I am trying to figure out how I can walk longer between 3 minute runs and trying to rationalize that it won't set me back that far, etc. I heard my God speak to my heart, "you can do it, just keep going, 3 minutes at a time, I will help you." I also heard my "trainer" Tarri who lives in Tennessee by the way, say, "c'mon Jenn, you can do this!!!" in my head. So, I decided to do it and since Tarri has fallen off the treadmill before and lived to tell about it, I was sure I wouldn't actually die trying to run that far.
I decided to look at the 3 minute runs like "10 reps". In my strength training from the past 9 months, I learned that doing 3 sets of 10 reps is really STINKING HARD. And it is supposed to be, that is why it is called "strength" training. Duh. Like my friend Tarri says, "If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it." So, armed with a new perspective on getting the running "sets" done, and keeping in mind the "relax and act like this is natural" mind set from swimming earlier this week, I pressed on and pressed in to my God. Believing He designed me to accomplish the task He set before me.
And I did it. It is amazing to me how everything all goes together. Of course it does, God is an amazing organizer, full of infinite possiblilites at His eternal disposal.
I am thankful for today's victory and look forward to whatever may come tomorrow...
I have been wondering if I can really do 'this' triathlon. I know I am acting confident most of the time but the doubts really do creep in, often.
I head out to the Kroc Center to do my Saturday run. According to my schedule I am supposed to run for 30 minutes. This is not a straight run, but a 9 minute walk/run warm up and then 3/1 interval training, run for 3 minutes then walk 1 minute and run 3 and so on until I reach 30 minutes, and then I often have to walk longer to get my heart rate down low enough to breathe and walk normally :).
I was a little nervous about the length of time, I have never gone that far before. I did 20 minutes on Wednesday and that was pretty hard.
I get to about 13 minutes - I have only run for 3 minutes of my regular 3/1 interval for this session and I am trying to figure out how I can walk longer between 3 minute runs and trying to rationalize that it won't set me back that far, etc. I heard my God speak to my heart, "you can do it, just keep going, 3 minutes at a time, I will help you." I also heard my "trainer" Tarri who lives in Tennessee by the way, say, "c'mon Jenn, you can do this!!!" in my head. So, I decided to do it and since Tarri has fallen off the treadmill before and lived to tell about it, I was sure I wouldn't actually die trying to run that far.
I decided to look at the 3 minute runs like "10 reps". In my strength training from the past 9 months, I learned that doing 3 sets of 10 reps is really STINKING HARD. And it is supposed to be, that is why it is called "strength" training. Duh. Like my friend Tarri says, "If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it." So, armed with a new perspective on getting the running "sets" done, and keeping in mind the "relax and act like this is natural" mind set from swimming earlier this week, I pressed on and pressed in to my God. Believing He designed me to accomplish the task He set before me.
And I did it. It is amazing to me how everything all goes together. Of course it does, God is an amazing organizer, full of infinite possiblilites at His eternal disposal.
I am thankful for today's victory and look forward to whatever may come tomorrow...
Friday, July 2, 2010
Over done...
I can honestly say tonight was not my best night with my eating...
After days of the stress of cleaning, purging, staying up late, getting up early, more working around the house, etc, I finally caved under the pressure and exhaustion of the last week. The worst time for me to eat unwisely is when I am tired. I know better, I just had no resistance tonight.
Erik said lets get wings instead of pizza. I picked up an inexpensive pizza for the boys and Erik and I got wings. Not a bad thing. I looked online to see what the calorie count was for how many wings within my range. It was not a problem. Until after dinner when I didn't deliberately choose to toss the kids leftover pizza. I ate half of the slice leftover from Peter and half a bread stick. Then later, because of the aches and pains in my body from a tough week of working out, moving stuff, I heated up another piece of pizza, feeling like, "well, I've pretty much blown it already" and ate it followed by a couple of Tylenol and Ibuprofen.
In The Female Body Breakthrough Rachel Cosgrove talks about being on a journey in your car, the car getting a flat tire and instead of fixing the tire and driving on, you let all the air out of the other tires and sit there and wait for someone to come and get you. If you eat something that is not on your regular healthy plan, then get back on program. Don't continue to eat whatever, until you have another ah-ha moment to get you back on track.
I did that tonight. Let all the air out of my tires. I am not consumed with guilt, but I am sharing this with you to just continue the transparency God has called me to walk out before you during this process.
Tonight, I go to bed early. I am going to pray for all my boys to sleep, and believe God for the rest He knows I need.
Trusting Him again, to provide for what I need.
After days of the stress of cleaning, purging, staying up late, getting up early, more working around the house, etc, I finally caved under the pressure and exhaustion of the last week. The worst time for me to eat unwisely is when I am tired. I know better, I just had no resistance tonight.
Erik said lets get wings instead of pizza. I picked up an inexpensive pizza for the boys and Erik and I got wings. Not a bad thing. I looked online to see what the calorie count was for how many wings within my range. It was not a problem. Until after dinner when I didn't deliberately choose to toss the kids leftover pizza. I ate half of the slice leftover from Peter and half a bread stick. Then later, because of the aches and pains in my body from a tough week of working out, moving stuff, I heated up another piece of pizza, feeling like, "well, I've pretty much blown it already" and ate it followed by a couple of Tylenol and Ibuprofen.
In The Female Body Breakthrough Rachel Cosgrove talks about being on a journey in your car, the car getting a flat tire and instead of fixing the tire and driving on, you let all the air out of the other tires and sit there and wait for someone to come and get you. If you eat something that is not on your regular healthy plan, then get back on program. Don't continue to eat whatever, until you have another ah-ha moment to get you back on track.
I did that tonight. Let all the air out of my tires. I am not consumed with guilt, but I am sharing this with you to just continue the transparency God has called me to walk out before you during this process.
Tonight, I go to bed early. I am going to pray for all my boys to sleep, and believe God for the rest He knows I need.
Trusting Him again, to provide for what I need.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
God's Provision... even in the "small" stuff...
I need to go to bed as I have been working really hard the last couple of days to get my house decluttered and stuff ready for my yard sale tomorrow morning.
My God provided a dear friend to spend the last 2 days helping me sort and organize my stuff as well as prep for my yard sale. She was so helpful and nice without judgment for my wacky need to keep every card that has ever been given to me or any of my family members (as an example :).
Also, I continue to trust God will provide for all I need to do this triathlon race. I will be using the funds from what I sell, after I pay the girls watching my boys to keep them from noticing some of the stuff that is departing :), to get what I need.
He promised His provision for all our needs. He has asked me to do this triathlon challenge and I believe every need I have will be provided for.
Another sign of His awesome provision... I thought I lost my purse today. I got all the way to the Kroc Center to my swim class and couldn't find my purse. One of the gals I know from the playcare place was working at the coffee stand and I asked her if my purse was found there. She looked and couldn't find it. I told her that was a bummer since now I didn't have my $5 for my swim class. She said, "I've got $5!" and ran to her purse to get it for me. I wasn't even late to class! I will of course pay her back, but again, God's provision right when I needed it.
Why should we ever doubt that He already knows what we need?
By the way, I did find my purse at home, in a place I never put it... silly me.
That sweet gal will get her $5 back and a thank you card for being so kind!
AND my God will continue to receive my Praise for all the incredible ways He provides for me!
My God provided a dear friend to spend the last 2 days helping me sort and organize my stuff as well as prep for my yard sale. She was so helpful and nice without judgment for my wacky need to keep every card that has ever been given to me or any of my family members (as an example :).
Also, I continue to trust God will provide for all I need to do this triathlon race. I will be using the funds from what I sell, after I pay the girls watching my boys to keep them from noticing some of the stuff that is departing :), to get what I need.
He promised His provision for all our needs. He has asked me to do this triathlon challenge and I believe every need I have will be provided for.
Another sign of His awesome provision... I thought I lost my purse today. I got all the way to the Kroc Center to my swim class and couldn't find my purse. One of the gals I know from the playcare place was working at the coffee stand and I asked her if my purse was found there. She looked and couldn't find it. I told her that was a bummer since now I didn't have my $5 for my swim class. She said, "I've got $5!" and ran to her purse to get it for me. I wasn't even late to class! I will of course pay her back, but again, God's provision right when I needed it.
Why should we ever doubt that He already knows what we need?
By the way, I did find my purse at home, in a place I never put it... silly me.
That sweet gal will get her $5 back and a thank you card for being so kind!
AND my God will continue to receive my Praise for all the incredible ways He provides for me!
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