This past week has been a hard one. There have definitely been highlights, but overall, the constant head pain has been a perpetual drain on my mental and emotional energy.
This morning, after church there were the prayer teams up front as is our custom at New Life. I told my Love that I wanted to go get prayer and asked if he would join me. He agreed.
The women standing up front were two spiritual moms of mine. Each has led me, or walked with me, through different challenging seasons of my life in prayer, encouragement, and consistent support. I was so thankful to see them this morning.
My Love stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders, a stance he takes when I go up front for prayer. It is his tender place of authority over me and I find great comfort in it. The women anointed me with oil and prayed for me.
As I listened to their prayers for me there were words that brought a deep response within my heart.
Release fear of headaches.(I once had the same headache every day for 4 years - I was concerned that was going to happen again - they didn't know this)
Tension be gone.
Fear be gone.
Supernatural exchange - God's power for my strength.
I could feel the Lord draining the stress from my body. When my Love leaves town I shoulder the responsibility for all of our home, family, activities, etc. I do this automatically. Without even thinking. These past few weeks when he has been traveling so much, the burden, instead of releasing upon his return, just stays because he is leaving again soon.
This morning, with these dear women, and my Love, enfolding me in their arms and hearts, I found release. I found His grace, His power, His healing.
They were speaking of heat in their hands, sensing His presence touching me. I felt only a slight heat, but the outpouring from my eyes and my body made it obvious I was releasing the anxiety and tension I had been stockpiling for weeks.
Then, a prayer for...
For the weeks following my triathlon I have been struggling with a fear of being stuck. That my body will always look this way, that I will always struggle with being an athlete in a fat body that doesn't look anything like the health that resides within me.
Today when they prayed, they saw a brick wall. I told them about my fear of being stuck. I told them I know it is not Truth but I haven't been able to shake it. Or pray through it, or get past it.
They prayed and we asked God to demolish the wall and that the crushing of the wall would bring about the fragrance of Christ, as surely as when one crushes flower petals their scent is released even more. I saw, in my mind's eye, the wall demolished with a wrecking ball. There was a path where the ball struck that went all the way to the ground. The bottom bricks of the wall on either side of the path were all that was left of the wall itself. I asked the Lord about those and believe He told me that I might trip on them if I don't walk the path He has laid before me. But if I stick on the path, my stride will not be interrupted.
The word DEMOLISH is a strong one. It leaves no question in what it means. Neither does this passage:
"3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
Wikipedia says "A stronghold is a strongly fortified defensive structure."
There are many "strongholds" in my heart and mind that I have demolished in this season of my life. The pursuit of health and wellness has brought about all kinds of healing as the bricks turn to rubble as I choose to go in a new direction.
The thing is, there is always something new God wants us to release to Him. Once we demolish one stronghold, another place where we have put up our defenses reveals itself. He doesn't make us demolish them all at once because He knows about process. He knows what we need to learn, when we need to learn it and how long each demolition will take.
So, as the residue of my tension fades in the quiet ache remaining in my head, I know that the full healing comes as I continue to REST, TRUST, exchange my strength for His power, and release the tension/anxiety to Him.
This has become quite long, so I will continue some more on this topic in another post tomorrow. Thanks for your prayers!