Last week my life looked like it used to... sort of. Except in my old life I ate. Last week I didn't. What I mean is that last week when I was recovering from the flu I spent lots of time resting. My previous life I just spent a lot of time doing the usual household and child care and maintenance but there was no real exercise involved.
Today I find myself a little resistant to jumping back into my health and fitness focus... don't worry. I will. I just am finding some old mindsets creeping back in... "what's the point?", "why try", "something else is going to happen", the list goes on...
SO - When a friend asked me to send her the link to my Triathlon Dreams entry in this blog, I sent it to her and then I read it. Again. A little bit has changed since then. But not much. The parts that have changed are small, like instead of doing the "Retro Tri", I will be doing the main Sprint Triathlon. I want to do a real race - not a "fun run" of sorts. I will pay more for my entry fee and I still won't use a wetsuit (just not ready to come up with the $ to get one or even rent one -mostly because I have never swam in one) and I have a friend that said I can use her bike. :)
The truth is - I am going to do this. I just am. I say that to remind myself as much as anything else. As I stated in a previous blog, I am reading the Prayer of Jabez (once a week) and praying his prayer every day for 30 days.
In that book Bruce Wilkinson says something I will quote, "As God's chosen sons and daughters we are expected to attempt something large enough that failure is guaranteed ... unless God steps in."
That is really how I feel, At this stage of my life with three busy little boys, a house that needs decluttering, starting a new MOPS ministry at church, and so many other moving pieces to my life God is going to have to step in to make it happen.
I hear His voice on this in my spirit almost daily. Almost like He knows that if He isn't speaking to me almost every day on this I will cave completely and run screaming in the other direction... well, maybe not that bad...?
He tells me just to take one day at a time. One workout at a time. To trust Him for the money that is NOT in our budget to buy the minimal things I need to buy to complete my training and the race.
Part of the home decluttering process is a friend coming over tomorrow to help me sort a room full of old stuff to figure out what I can yard sale to help pay for what I need for the triathlon. I am sure we will have lots of help from our collection of six kids between us. But, I need my home to be like what God is creating in my body. Clean, in order, organized, all parts working for the same goal - together. My home is not a "pit" by any means, but it is small and I am not a natural organizer. That process is as overwhelming as the process for training for the triathlon.
The essence of this blog is -
There are many things going on in my life right now that if I step back and look at the big picture I will be overwhelmed by each one.
God is asking me to just walk out one day at a time.
One meal, one swim, one bike ride, one run, one stack of things I am not sure what to do with, one meeting, one... you get the picture.
Getting back into the groove - Remembering I am depending on God for each day's events praising Him in the process, knowing the process is as important as the end result.
Many thanks to each of you who continue to encourage and pray with me through this process. I have no real way to express the gratitude I have for God's provision for me through you!